Restraint....and I'm not talkin' seatbelts or girdles

A Friday night out in public with the family.

Nothing like three wild kids who have forgotten all their manners, one mad dad who just grounded all three wild kids from television and computer for the entire day tomorrow for forgetting all their manners, and one sleepy mom who can’t believe the dad just grounded the children….because that means her Saturday just became much less peaceful.

Way to go, Dad.

Moving on.

I have declared a theme for my evening out with these people that I’m forced to love and live with. Because every good party needs a theme. I declared mine...


Exhibit A:
We first stopped at Olive Garden to grab something munch-worthy. Also to use up the gift cards that I’ve been carrying around in my purse since Christmas (thanks, Mich!). Let me tell you a little something about Olive Garden. I heart it. That’s it. No ifs, ands , or buts…..just pure simple love. I remained faithful to the OG even when all those terrible stories were floating around of the something awful that the someone awful was doing to the sauces in the kitchen. Because I’m loyal like that. And because I’m so attracted to their breadsticks and salad that I include them in most all of my dreams. (Dreaming about Edward and my vampire friends….we’re eating breadsticks. Dreaming of beaches and sunshine….breadsticks are within reach. Nightmaring about being chased by evil clowns…..well…no breadsticks in that one because it would be weird.) Back to Exhibit A. I scarfed down a delightfully flavored drink, 3.4 breadsticks, and a bowl of salad with a double portion of those slurpaliscious black olives. And all of that before I received my hugenormous plate of 5 Cheese Ziti.

Y’all….I didn’t eat it all. I so left out of there with a doggie bag…which NEVER happens at the OG. Because every single time…I kid you not….I force myself to eat every.last.saliva.inducing.bite. Until tonight. Restraint.

Exhibit B:
While at the Sweet Mother of Everything That Is Pure and Alfredo-y, the husband presented me with the question I’ve been waiting all week for. “What do you want for Mother’s Day and for your birthday?” Before I can answer, the husband informs me that he wants to venture into the world of touch screen Apple technology. Namely….the iPhone. I stammered out a stuttery “O.o.o.kay.” And then refrained from jumping across the table, smooching the husband, and then causing a huge scene by doing my happy dance around the OG. Breadstick in one hand. Fistful of olives in the other. Restraint.

Exhibit C:
After leaving the pasta palace of perfection, we headed to the cell phone store. Because just discussing touch screens and how cute I would look texting on an iPhone got to be too much for both the husband and myself. We walked into the store that held no less than eleventy hundred people. All apparently with the same idea as us. We were informed that though we were welcomed in the store, there was a waiting line of eleventy hundred, but that we were free to browse. So browse I did. Straight over to the iPhone. And I spent 14.8 seconds trying to keep my drool puddles under control. Because 14.8 seconds was all the husband could take of the claustrophobia. So I reluctantly placed my new beloved back in its cradle, petted it, and refrained from snatching the darling and making a run for it. RESTRAINT.

Exhibit D:
Headed over to Old Navy to pick up something for Stephanie. She’d asked me to pick up a tee she needed for an Addie Mae order, and I gladly obliged. Saw this. And this. And this. And 59 other super cute things that I really need to have. But I left. With nothing in hand. Except a tee shirt that is way too small for me. RESTRAINT.

Exhibit E:
Headed to Lowe’s for/with the husband. I married the guru of all things handy and tool related. And the guru had a list a mile long of things he needed for all his latest projects. For some reason Lowe’s makes me yawn. And it makes the children lose their sanity. Because the aisles are just so big and run-worthy. So between me falling asleep while leaning on the buggy as the husband picked out hinges and drawer pulls, and the children zapping bad guys hiding behind washers and dryers….we weren’t much help to the husband. In fact, we irritated him. And irked him. And he was ready to fire all four of us.



Because I didn’t buy the candy bar in the check out aisle.


Anonymous said...

Hooray for your promised Mother's Day present! You're going to love it!

Hooray for you and all your restraint! I couldn't have passed by the candy bar I'm pretty sure.

Jim said...

I saw right away your first hand view of the latest Matlock episode (for those of the present young generation, he's the old Andy Griffith who's a unique trial lawyer - for you great, greats, he's like Perry Mason). Anyway, back to the CASE being tried. The Defendent, yes, its that woman who didn't want COLD SLAW at FCF! Gotta be a question of guilt here. Charged with LACK OF RESRAINT! Defense EXHIBITS were presented and are being considered by the JURY of her PEERS, itappeers. The PROSECUTOR, hubby, seeing his case begin slide toward the defenses strategy, attempts to settle out of court, which ends in a promisary settlement, and in a last closing argument, pleas for and obtains a sentence for 3 rascals that SHOWED NO RESTRAINT. After a energy sapping trial...the defendant further demonstrated her innocence by refusing to restore her strength with an energy builder bar.
Case closed. DUM TA DUM DUM...DUM!

Proud of you, Ms. Scarlet!

Love you,

Carpoolqueen said...

I shall practice restraint at not stealing your dad.

Oh, the Olive Garden. I love it as well, except I really think they changed their dressing for the salad and then changed it back because everyone in America noticed.

And I'd rather watch paint dry than go to Lowes/Home Depot. Did I tell you about the time one of my rascals dropped his britches (and under britches) in the middle of the lumber aisle becuase his waist band was itching him?

And did I tell you that I didn't notice until we walked up to checkout that he was nekked?

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

Cannot believe you didn't eat your ziti. I had a hard time reading the rest of this post...seriously...that was restraint!

Mich said...

Glad you had your favorite dinner last night on me! Yummy!

I have to take back what I said last night on the phone...I am a little jealous, but only because my phone doesn't do ANYTHING! Thanks for making me laugh last night, I sure needed it.

Hope you have a terrific weekend! I totally heart you and think you are the best mom in the world...well next to ours that is! :)

lisa@littlesliceoflife said...

You are a paragon of virtue.

I also proudly exhibited restraint last night at TaMolly's...watched my kids eat an entire basket of chips and queso and didn't eat. a. single. chip. And ordered the grilled chicken salad with no dressing.

Congrats on the iPhone. Could you tell Kirk to tell Wes that I want an Eternity (with internet service, of course!) for Mother's Day?!

Lori Motl said...

Can I pet your iPhone when you get it? I'm totally jealous!

So when is your birthday?

Gretchen said...

Will you still be friends with me? For I have the "old" iPhone. Apple may have wrinkles, but she's still my girl.

Yay OG.

You know...to restrain you from not having a good day (with all the non-video playing behavior of the rascals), maybe you should go back to the Gap. Alone. For about 3 hours. Just sayin'.

And part of your hubby's father's day extravaganza? A trip to Lowes--alone. See? Makes perfect sense.

Hugs and blessings to you on this MD weekend.

Glo said...

Amber, Amber....what restraint you have that I don't!!! You are Da Bomb!!! I am jealous just of that, not to mention your future IPhone! I have an LG Vu, just by accident....long story, but I have no internet, not even texting....hubby doesn't think texting is necessary. WHATEVER!!! My phone is cool, but would even be cooler if I was able to use more than half of the stuff that's on it. Oh well, I can't have everything I guess. I hope that you enjoy your phone and also have a wonderful Mother's Day tomorrow! Can't wait to meet you next weekend! That would mean I can be on your Real Life Friends list!LOL

Christi said...

You will enjoy that phone once you do get your hands on it! Corey just got one, and I sure like playing with it. Last weekend, when we went to the concert, most everyone in our group had an iphone...texting, texting, texting. I think that I must really be missing out!

Wish I could eat your Olive Gardent leftovers!

Tiffani said...

Oh mother of all self control...I bow at your feet.

I love Olive Garden and now I'm worried about the functionality of my laptop from all the DROOL between they keys now..

Oh, the iPhone, aahh, I remember back in the 16th century when my razor phone was THE thing to have so sleek, thin and pink. Oh me, those WERE the days way back then. Fond memories. She's my little antique sidekick but still does her job well.

Hope you survive the grounding...what WAS Dad thinking?

Michele said...

You, my friend, are the queen of restraint! I don't know if I could have withstood all of that pressure to restrain. I so love the OG myself, especially the salad. . . I can eat the whole stinkin' bowl all by myself.

Have fun with your iphone. My son just got an ipod touch, and we all drool over it. I'm not technologically smart enough to figure any of the new gadgets out.

Happy Mother's Day to one of the funniest people I know!!

Elizabeth said...

I have a problem with restraint. At Olive Garden, in the Apple store, at Old Navy (or Gap!), and in Lowe's because I love browsing the fancy appliances. It's so hard to say no. No restraint with candy bars either. Once I eat one I just want another.