Bananarama

It was another tough day for me.

I'm still struggling with this person, and it's just not fun. I'm nonconfrontational to the core, so this kind of tension and stress just makes me weary. And uncomfortable. And makes me un-smily. Which was NOT my goal for today.

In addition, we've been slammed with rain. And I spent most of the day on the phone to the husband trying to figure out if I was even going to be able to get home today. We live out in the country...on a country road...that floods if someone sneezes wrong. And we also live on the other side of the river....that floods....all.the.time. Or at least it seems like that. So you put all of that together, and everyone who lives out our way starts hunting for gopher wood to construct arks. Because it is just about that bad.

I hate rain, and I hate driving. But I really hate driving in the rain. And I really hate driving in the rain over roads that are flooded. Does nothing for my stress levels.

So I double medicated today. Because I needed it.

And it was probably that extra medication that caused me the momentary lapse in what brain function I have.

Which allowed me to eat...

A banana.

Because it came with my lunch. And no one else would take it from me and eat it. And the lunch ladies didn't send me a cookie today. So the banana was the closest thing to comfort food I could find.

One problem.

I'm allergic to bananas.

Seriously.

I haven't had a banana in years. Because I know what it does to me. But something misfired in the whole noggin today, and I decided that I would "check and see" if my allergy had disappeared.

Uh...it hasn't.

I downed the whole banana. And then my mouth started to itch. And the insides of my ears began to itch. And then my tongue began to swell.

Nice.

I'm in a class with kids, so I can't just leave. So I scrawled out a hall pass and fished a dollar out of my pocket. I mumbled through swollen-tongue for one of the kids to go to the coke machine and bring me a "Diet Coke."

"A Diet Coke," I repeated. Because the last thing I need is to gag on some non-diet version whilst my tongue is swelling and my ears are itching.

Another lapse in brain function, because I slipped the dollar and hall pass to the ssslllooowwweeesssttt kid in the whole school. My tongue had grown to ginormous proportions and I was barely refraining from sticking a pencil in my ear canal to reach the itch when in walks Mr. Go-Get-Me-a-Diet-Coke with a...

Coke.

Not Diet.

Coke.

If I could have screamed, I would've.

But when in a banana crisis, the only thing to do is go ahead and pop the top. I swigged the nastiness and began to feel some relief. After I could swallow again, I went and found a Benedryl and eventually everything returned to normal. Except I still want to claw my eardrums out...because they itch. And I can't reach the itch.


Moral to story: Don't drown sorrows in bananas.


Note: Lest you think I'm crazy (like my husband does), I have an actual food allergy. I have spent my life thinking I'm nuts, and allowing others to chastise my weird tendencies to want to scratch the inside of my ears, until I heard of others with the same fate...on Oprah. It's a ragweed/hay fever allergy. For reals. I also can't eat watermelon, cucumbers, or cantaloupe. I also can't peel raw potatoes without my hands swelling. Still think I'm crazy? You can read an article about it here.... I'm not nuts. I'm tellin' ya.