I Am FREE....To Go To the Gym....Uh, Thank You?

Today I wrote a check for $127.

And it wasn't for groceries.

Or for an electric bill.

Today I wrote a check for a 3 month membership to...

...are you ready for this?

No kidding. I put on tennis shoes and everything. My really cute metallic silver tennis shoes that were bought with looks entirely in mind. Bless their Nike hearts, they've never worked as hard as they worked today...

And they didn't even do much. (But, don't tell Mr. and Mrs. Spiffy Nike that...because they are under the impression that they really worked hard today....as are my muscles.)

Here's how it all went down...

It all started with Stephanie. And all my other health-nutty friends. I'm so proud of them, I really am, but I had made a commitment to myself to not join 'em. Because exercise and I just don't get along. And it's mutual. I embarrass exercise by even attempting it, and I don't like to sweat. So we are on much better terms if we leave each other alone.

And then, Stephanie had to go and talk fancy to me.

And before I knew it, I was making a gym date and committing myself to treadmills and weight machines for the summer. I'm still not sure what got into me. A total momentary lapse in sanity, I'm sure of it.

So, this morning, I woke up, pinned my hair up out of my face, laced up the rarely worn Nikes, and headed out on my date. I talked to myself the entire car ride to the gym, asking myself if I really knew what I was getting myself into. Apparently I am not a very good persuader of myself, because I continued on my way, met Steph, and paid the man at the counter. No turning back now. I'm still wondering if Kirk slipped something in my water bottle this morning, because that is another possible explanation for my whacked-out follow-through of this horrendous plan.

First stop....treadmill land.

My experience with treadmills is pretty nil. We don't have one at the house, and I can count the number of times I've been inside a gym in my life on one hand. I've seen them on TV, and I've driven past plenty of them while slurping a milkshake, but darkening the door? Uh. No. In fact, treadmills to me equal laundry racks...because that is how they are used in most people's houses.
Just sayin'.

I gingerly stepped on board of Mr. Treadmill. He had all kinds of fancy buttons, and I kept having visions of me either breaking Mr. Treadmill, or being that goob that gets going too fast and slides off the end banging her chin as she flies half way across the room. Luckily neither happened. Although I came close to the latter scenario a time or two.

I did, however, manage to sweat. A lot. And had to quit after a mile. Because I'm a wuss. And I was beginning to lose all feeling in my legs. Poor Stephanie...she could have kept on walking until next Tuesday, but she got off when I wimped out. Good friend.

After jelly-legging my way off of the treadmill, it was off to the machine weights.

Bless Stephanie's heart. She got more than she bargained for. Because I AM A MORON. And a TERRIBLE STUDENT. She was trying to show me how to do each of the machines, but then I would get all confused, and she'd have to show me all over again. And again. I'm so glad that she loves me....because I'm most definitely the most embarrassing person ever to hang around with.

After working all kinds of muscles that I didn't even know I had, I made a beeline for the exit. And dragged Steph out with me. I think she was still giggling at my moronacy. (Really...it was that pathetic.)

But, I survived.

And I decided to reward myself by getting a new pair of flip flops. And flip flops don't have calories.....so good for me.

After getting back home with new flip flops and bragging to the husband about being a gym rat (and having him giggle hysterically), we headed out for some Memorial Day fun with some really good friends (and lots of dogs! *wink*).

Here is me and Lisa...posing for one of our many paparazzi shots thanks to our 8 year olds.

And here is Kirk helping Wes with his new deck. They are all sweaty and sawdusty and manly. Lisa and I watched. I got sawdust on my feet...which I think totally counts.

And then Lisa and I did what all thoughtful wives do....we took naps, while the husbands slaved over 2x4s.


On a serious note, my heart is so grateful to our veterans who have fought and our soldiers that are currently fighting for our freedom. And to those who have given their lives for the sake of my family's liberties, words are not even enough to express the appreciation that swells my heart. I'm honored to be an American. An American with choices to make that are frivolous like to gym or not to gym and to flip flop or not to flip flop. The freedoms we have are countless, and are so often taken for granted. I'm thankful for sacrifice. And for willingness. And for devotion.

I pray that your holiday was a blessed one spent with the people that matter most to you, and that a few moments were reserved today for remembering those that make this country free.

And munching on a hot dog or burger while doing so ain't too shabby either.

Happy Memorial Day 2009!!


Gretchen said...

Good for you, girlfriend. I say, if you can't beat 'em, join 'em. But I feel you. I do. For the elliptical is my nemesis. Thank goodness for my iPod and all my worship and rock tunes, or I'd be wailing instead of trying not to sing.

lisa@littlesliceoflife said...

You are too funny!

Really? You couldn't photoshop out my double chin?! Eek! Good thing I ate those turkey dogs.

Stephanie @ My Answered Prayer said...

At least you had me the first time you tried the weight machines...I figured them out myself...well the trainer did show me about 3 months before I actually used them but who remembers that far back.

It was extremely hot today in the gym...we could have gone farther if it was cooler.

Mr and Mrs NIKE...we will be working you harder in the near future.

Mich said...

I missed seeing you today. :(

Glad you had fun with your friends.

Had me laughing at the gym story. wish i could have been a fly on the wall...

Carpoolqueen said...

I can't wait to read tomorrow about how sore you are.

Aren't you glad I'm so supportive?

Elizabeth said...

I second what CPQ said. You might be stuck in bed tomorrow!

Jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jennifer said...

Welcome to the bandwagon!! I need to join the gym with ya'll!! I wouldn't have made it a mile!!

I'm proud of you!!

Nina Diane said...

love the gym story!!
I've been at it since March and it's getting a little easier

The Bowden's said...

Good for you for going to the gym. I so plan to start back myself when I get this move over with. :) But for now I just keep indulging in ice cream and my DDP and everything else yummy. :)

mimi said...

It's so nice that you have a friend to go with....to motivate you. You go girl! My treadmill has been in the storage position for months. I keep moving it around the house like it's a piece of furniture...but it never gets used. Flip flop shopping, I can do that!

Cathy said...

Again with the kindred spirits things?

I do believe that practicing HSM dance moves IS EXERCISE, though...just sayin'.

Oh and you.crack.me.up.

Libby said...

Your stories always make me laugh!
thats awesome for you going to the gym!!

Alison said...

Look at you, Mrs. Thing! Great job going to the gym!!! Wish I could join...but no $$$ to do so. So I'll sweat to my Turbo Jam DVD workouts and pushing our double stroller while you sweat to whatever you decide to do in there!! What a blast, huh?? But just think about those tight abs you'll have in a matter of months!

Lynn said...

This post made me laugh and laugh, especially when you talked about not wanting to be that goob that gets going too fast on the treadmill. ;) I'm not a treadmill girl myself, but a number of years ago got hooked on aerobics (not the same as being hooked on phonics) and I've gotta tell ya, after a while you start to actually look forward to exercise hour. Anyway, thanks for the laughs, and next time I'm in my class I will remember the "goob" comment, and try not to be the goob who's prancing off to my left as everyone else in class prances right.

Glo said...

I do have to say that I AM proud of you, but then again, I feel like a loser that I don't work out. I don't want to and really have no time to. I can't eat right....no will power when it comes to junk food....especially chocolate. My pants are starting to cut off my belly circulation, if that is even possible. I know what I need to do, it's just doing it is the problem. I really am happy for you that you went to the "other side" with your healthy friends. I hope that we can still be friends anyway. :)

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

Yay, you! Someday I'm gonna join a gym...I really am. Until then my little treadmill at home will have to do. And I did the 30 Day Shred for the first time today. And then walked around the rest of the afternoon on shaky legs. Nice. :)

Ginger@From The Cocoon said...

I'm laughing hysterically!! I have the same relationship with gyms...and although I know that I should drag my hiney down to one...I shudder when I think of the humiliation...
...maybe I'll have a good friend drag me down there ;)