In Case of Emergency....Don't Do As I Do

There is a brand spankin' new window in my bedroom now.

All thanks to.......

A hammer. Wielded by.....me. That's right....me.

It is all Kirk's fault though. Honest. If he hadn't left on a trip last month, our old window would still be intact. At least that is what I continue to claim.

It all started on a Sunday morning, a very cold Sunday morning, in December. Kirk had left early for the airport and was on a plane to Miami by the time the boys and I woke up. I hurried around the house that morning trying to get us ready for church and out of the door on time. Looking our Sunday best, I pushed the boys out of the house, grabbed my purse, and headed to the van. We buckled up and I began to dig around in my purse looking for my keys. Nothing. Searched my pockets. Nothing. Interrogated the boys. Nothing.

Aha. I'd locked my keys in the house.

This is a fairly common problem for me. And luckily we keep a key hidden for just such an occasion. This time though....out of luck. Kirk had just replaced the locks on our house a few weeks before, and I hadn't had extra keys made yet. (This is where I'm being told by Kirk to make sure I add that he had reminded me numerous times to get the keys made...yada yada yada.)

Keep in mind that it is FREEZING outside; Kirk is on a plane; and everyone we know is at church already. I racked my brain. I'm not good under pressure, so I cried a little, too...okay...a lot. I think I also said a couple of things that I shouldn't have and freaked out my kids. I told you that I'm terrible under pressure.

I checked all our windows even though I knew they would all be locked, because I'm pretty OCD about that kind of stuff. Our sliding glass door was also locked and barred....more OCD. I know nothing about picking locks, but knew enough to know that Kirk had bought the heavy duty locks when he switched them out, so assumed that breaking in my own house by way of the front door was probably a no go.

I went through my options. My not-good-under-pressure options.

1) Call a locksmith.

• I went back and forth on this one, because I was imagining the cost involved in calling a locksmith on a Sunday morning to drive all the way out in the sticks where we live. I'd had to call a locksmith to get the keys out of my car during normal working hours and practically had to sell a kidney to pay for it.

2) Bust down my front door.

• Just didn't seem right and couldn't really imagine how I would do it even if I wanted to. And I was wearing high heels.

3) Just go stay in a hotel or at a friend's house until Kirk came home.

• No keys to drive anywhere and was too cold to wait on everyone to get out of church and turn their cell phones back on.

4) Break a window.

• Seemed crazy but doable.

I was torn between the locksmith and the window. I went back and forth for a few minutes and finally opted for the window. I told you that I'm not good under pressure. Panic tends to overtake me and all of my good decision-making skills.

So, I headed to Kirk's shop in search of a hammer. I'd seen on TV how people wrapped a towel or something around their hands so they wouldn't get cut with the glass, so I grabbed an old t-shirt....closest thing I could find to a towel.

I'm sure that my boys were petrified at the sight of their frantic, sobbing mother heading around the back of the house armed with a hammer. Bless their hearts. I really think I'm scarring them for life.

I decided to break my bedroom window. I knew I needed to break a window at the back of the house so as to not advertise to the world that we had an easy access. The only other windows back there are Keaton's window and the kitchen window. I was parenting well enough at the moment to consider my child and to not want him to have the broken window. The kitchen window would have required me climbing on the doghouse and then crawling into the sink....didn't sound pleasurable in heels. So I opted for mine.

I tapped the window carefully at first with the hammer, still believing that this whole thing really wasn't happening to me. Then, when it didn't shatter instantly, I went for the kill. I busted that window with everything I had. CRACK! There were tiny pieces of glass everywhere.

I hadn't realized that the glass would stay in the window though. I was imaging it all busting clean out of the frame. Uh....no....there were huge shards of glass all jaggedy and scary looking. And I was needing to climb through that....more panic. I carefully (with the T-shirt hand) picked out the glass shards enough to where I thought I could get through the hole without seriously injuring myself. I did an okay job....I only got 3 nasty cuts and one glass splinter. Ouch.

I made it through the window and into the house. I retrieved the keys and met my freaked out kids outside. With my heart pumping a mile a minute at the realization that now I had a ginormous hole in my house, I searched our shed for a piece of wood to cover the hole. Luckily, Kirk had a large piece of plywood that the boys helped me drag through the back yard and prop up against my window. Just FYI -- plywood is heavy, y'all.

I checked my watch.....we still had time to make it to church. I debated on staying home and trying to patch up the window. But, I knew I needed plastic sheeting and didn't have a clue as to whether Kirk had any of that or not. (I only knew what I needed from watching all the tornado and hurricane coverage on the news.) Recognizing that it was in the middle of the winter and the likelihood of a snake or other critter crawling in the hole in my house was probably slim....the boys and I went to church. Noble, huh?

After church and after stopping by WalMart to buy window patching supplies, I changed clothes and stared at the hole in the house with tears in my eyes. This kind of thing only happens to me. But, I put on my big girl face and enlisted Keaton for help. Together we cleaned up the rest of the glass (wearing Kirk's way-way-too-big-work-gloves) and tacked up the plastic sheeting. Then together, we hung wood over the hole (just like I saw all those hurricane people do on the news). All said and done....we didn't do too shabby. I used power tools and everything!

Needless to say, I stayed upset about the whole incident for awhile. Kirk was really sweet about the whole thing (after the initial phone call....yikes!).

We just got our new window last week. It is so pretty and shiny.

And this is the best part.....it only cost $45. HA! I was so right about the locksmith vs. window thing.

It pained Kirk a little bit to admit that I was right. And then he reminded me that if I had just had the new keys made when he asked me to, then we would only be out the $1.30 for the key.

Ugh. I hate it when he is right. I was so close.