A Play....About Peanut Butter and People Who Wish They Were Smart

Characters:

• Amber -- dressed in swimsuit and swimsuit coverup...not usual shopping attire, but obviously in a picnic pinch, so swimsuit it was.
• Mrs. WalMart -- a very respectable older woman dressed in her Wally World blues and vest inviting me to ask her to help me
• 3 Rascals -- dressed in swim trunks (good thing or Amber would look really out of place)

Setting:

• Local WalMart establishment; Express CheckOut Lane

ACT IV. Scene I.

The curtain opens with Amber and Rascals standing in checkout line at WalMart. Rascal #1 is holding a bottle of honey (picnic necessity for PB/Honey sandwiches). Rascal #2 is holding a PEOPLE magazine (lounging necessity for a mother who is taking her children to the lake). Rascal #3 is holding this:

(No. Your eyes do not deceive you. That is a 6 lb. jug of peanut butter.)

As the very nice man in red suspenders finishes up his transaction in front of Amber and her brood, Amber is busy swatting hands from the M&Ms and Pez Dispensers. As the suspenders push their buggy away, Amber ushers her clan forward, and the Rascals place their items on the counter.

AMBER: (smiling sweetly to Mrs. WalMart) Hello.

MRS. WALMART: (smiling sweetly back) Hello. These all yours? (motions to the Rascals who are still suffering from bedhead and who have gone back to putting their grabbers on the candy)

AMBER: (smiling because she is only asked this question eleventy hundred times each five minutes) Yes, Ma'am.

MRS. WALMART: (grabs honey and magazine, checks them, and places them in a bag, then picks up peanut butter) Wow. I have never seen peanut butter this huge before.

AMBER: It is large, isn't it? But it is worth it for these 3.

MRS. WALMART: (checks peanut butter and bags it) Did you get it at our store?

This moment of not-so-smart-people moments is brought to you by Peter Pan Peanut Butter...which was, shockingly enough, purchased at Mrs. WalMart's store.