Oregon Trailing -- A Letter

Dear Oregon,


I’m impressed with you. Really.

I’m going to be honest with you….I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel about you. It wasn’t that I was having ugly thoughts or anything, but really before I took this trip I knew nothing about you….except that my Aunt Jo used to live there, that it took me until highschool to figure out that the Salem Witch Trials didn’t happen in your Salem, and that Portland is where Callie Torres from Grey’s Anatomy was moving if she got fired from Seattle Grace. Just sayin’.

But I like you, Oregon.

I like your trees. Because they don’t look like our trees. Yours are taller. And make me feel like I’m in a movie. Don’t ask….it’s just how it is.

I also like your sky. It’s bigger than my sky. Again, don’t ask. Just so.

I also appreciate your appreciation for proper disposal of sharp objects in airports. Even though at first I thought you were supporting the junkies of your state….but I now realize that was my mistake. Not yours.

I like that you aren’t afraid of a good deer antler chandelier.

I love the way your people talk. Again….feel like I’m in a movie. And I now feel the urge to come back to Arkansas talking all Oregonian like.

I really love that your people are friendly. Because most Northeners get a bad rap for not being nice…especially to us Southern folk….but y’all are very pleasant. Thanks for that.

I also love that no one has to pay sales tax. I cannot tell you how nice it is to walk into a store, pick up an item, and pay the exact sticker price. Not a penny over. Talk about being able to budget properly. I likey. Mucho.

I love that most of your people look like they are ready for a week’s trip in the mountains schlepping tents and ringing bells to sceer off bears. I saw so many zip-off pants, NorthFace jackets, hiking shoes, wool socks sticking out of Birkenstocks, and scruffy hair-dos that I was almost ready to toss aside my metallic silver Nikes and my GAP teeshirt, buy a sleeping bag, and find me a moose to curl up next to in the mountains. I said almost.

But, Oregon, there are a couple of things that I find odd about you. But not odd in the we-can’t-continue-our-relationship way, but in a we’re-different-and-I-appreciate-you way.

For one, who knew that you can’t pump your own gas there. I’m sure you have good reasons and all, but it is just weird for all of us self-serve folks.

For another thing, the internet says you’re famous for apples. But I have to be honest. I have never bought an apple that says “grown in the heart of Oregon.” Not to mention that I tried to find one of your people who could tell me about these apples that you are so famous for….um…couldn’t find one. In fact, the only apples I saw all week were the apples in the produce section of a little store.

But, Oregon, these details are minor and unimportant, because I likey you. I likey you very much.

And I hope to come back very very soon.

Thanks for all the fun memories.

Love,
Amber-Next Time I Will Bring My Teva Sandals-RascalRaiser