A Message From the Lord

Keaton is our eldest offspring.

And he's a thinker, that one.

On a normal day, it is all I can do to nod mindlessly at his endless chatter about inventions and ideas for movie plots and his newest fascinations for career possibilities.  "That sounds great!" and "Fascinating!" exit my lips more often than a bee's knees shake in honey. 

And today was a super mega ultra uber thinky day.  And apparently the Lord got involved, also.


I was snoozing in my bed this morning.  I had heard the boys roust around in between dream fades, and the next thing I know, I was being shaken awake by a panicked faced Keaton. 

"Mom.  I have a problem."

This had better be good.

"You know how I want to be an animal rescuer?  Well, I just realized that I have a terrible problem.  Since I'm also going to be a famous dude in a band, what am I going to do if there is an animal in like China that needs saving, and my concert is in America?"

This conundrum of a crisis was discussed for the next 3 hours.  Because a panda bear's saving schedule might not mesh with the Kea-tones touring calendar.

Quite a problem indeed.


We were doing a bit of housework today, trying to get a few things cleaned up and put away from the Christmas haul.   I was cleaning up the dishes and scraping the last of the petrified gingerbread houses from their plates; Sawyer and Tate were playing with toys in their room cleaning their room; and Keaton was sweeping the kitchen floor.

All of a sudden, I hear the broom hit the tile and a series of snot-filled sobs coming from Keaton's bedroom.

Huh?  What in the world?  Surely the floor wasn't that bad.  I mean the funkiness of Christmas funk can get nasty, but tears?  Seriously?

"I. *sniff* miss. *sniff* Luke. *sniff* "

Huh?  Luke?  The cat, Luke?  He's been dead 2 years.

"I just miss him so much.  I want another cat."  And there was another onslaught of snot and tears.  I went back to the kitchen after a promise of a trip to PetCo to see the mice and ferrets -- pets we will never have and thus will never die in our possession.  So sympathetic I am.

Fast forward to the evening.  At the promised PetCo.

Picture with me the cat cage.  Strategically placed at the front of the store with the kitties that need adopting.  And the cage and all the this-n-thats in the cage are pink.  Pink!  Marketing genius. 

There is a fur ball lounging inside the cat cage.  There is a sign hanging on the pink feline palace stating that the kitty's name is Junior. I had an uncle named Junior.  He's been neutered.  Nice.  And he's sweet.  Good to know.

And he has 3 legs.

Wait. What?  3 legs? 

"I must have Junior."

We don't need a cat.

"But don't you see?  The Lord laid Luke on my heart today, and now here is Junior.  With 3 legs.  Just like our dog.  Don't you see that it is meant to be?  And I have $40...the exact amount of his adoption fee.  I must take Junior home."

Now the Lord is in the cat adoption business.  Good to know.

After more snot and more tears, Junior remains in his pink PetCo palace.  And the husband and I might have just promised our son a trip to the Humane Society to adopt a new puppy.

Um...I think we were just hornswallowed.


Jennifer said...

Picture me laughing until I pee'd. Yes, I know with my bladder it doesn't take much but this is just too good.

"Kea-tones"--I flippin' love that kid.


Andrea said...

Good luck with that dog thing!

We have the kids convinced that we need to stay an animal-free family. Anytime they think they want one we shuffle off to someone else's house with an animal for a few hours to give them their fix. Plus we remind them about the cats we used to have when they were babies who puked on the floor constantly. The way the children talk about it, you'd think they had to clean it up themselves! Ha!

Carpool Queen said...

You Keaton and my Tommy would be good friends what with the spontaneous crying over animals that died years ago.

And the ditching of the chores in mid-sweep.

Gretchen said...

I always wanted a cat named "Tripod".

Good luck at the HS. You know...the responsibility of an animal makes for a delightful homeschooling experience.

Or so I heard.

I'm not too much help here, my friend. Sorry. For I am known as "The Sanctuary". xxxooo

Mich said...

I am laughing out loud...

lisa@littlesliceoflife said...


I'm with Kea. I think the Lord wants you to have that 3-legged cat. That's way you'll have a pair of appendage-challenged pets.

Alison said...

LOLOLOL! That is HIlarious! So good, I read it to my hubby sitting next to me on the couch as we...I mean I count down the minutes to the new year. You can

Kendra said...

Bring home that three legged cat. I once had a three legged gerbil named Tripod. You need that odd ball cat to go with your fun and odd ball family!

New Every Morning said...

Ah, the tears. That, my friend, is how we became the proud owner of 6 ducks last Easter. The tears over animals ... I have no resistance!

Elizabeth said...

Quite a message, indeed! The Lord has told us that we will never have any kind of pet at all, or so I believe. Good luck with that new puppy. That's gonna be fun. . .

Nina Diane said...

oh how you were played like a sweet ole fiddle. That Keaton, he's a smart one for sure.
Happy New Year Amber....

Becca~TimeWellSpent said...

Oh my goodness! I laughed start to finish. You, my friend, have one smart cookie. Keep us posted on the pet search:)

Jim said...

Here's the thing - when you said the "tri-pod" was named Junior, then had the clip "I had an uncle named Junior" - you don't want to follow that statement with "He's been neutered!" (italized or no) Mom was reading over my shoulder, and the two of us couldn't stop laughing at your sentence structure on that one!

And you say he woke you up with what "followed you through the whole day"? Kea's quite an in.genius lad, isn't he?

Love you,

Cathy said...

Well...we'll just call you The Island of Tripod Furries since I can only assume you followed the Lord's leading and brought home a companion for the dog so he wouldn't feel like he was the only one who is appendage challenged.;)

That boy is all kinds of funny!