So I Read My Email and My Day Went Downhill

It was a normal morning for me.

I set my alarm for 5:20. And hit the snooze button until 6:20. I do this every morning. Why I don't just set the alarm for 6:20, I don't know. Something about slapping my bedside table every ten minutes for an hour makes me think I'm doing something really indulgent....like sleeping in. Although it is so not.

More normal came when it was time to get dressed. I live in my long sleeve white tee-shirts. I have three of them that I just run through several times a week. I layer them under everything, because I'm just that kind of girl. Anyway...all three of my tee buddies were thrown into the washer last night, to prepare for their next go-round, and I had every intention of moving them to the dryer last night. I got all flustered when my DVR cut off the end of American Idol last night, so I went to bed and pouted. And never got up to switch out the laundry. So this morning, I was in the shower when I realized that, horror of horrors, my shirts were all still wet in the washer. I did what anyone of the rest of you would have done. I found something else to wear? Not a chance. I took the time to fold all the towels that were in the dryer and then move the entire load in the washer into the dryer? Heck, no. Remember...I just snoozed until 6:20. And besides...who folds towels at 6:30 in the morning? Certainly not me. No, people....I dug through all the wet clothes in the washer, found one of my white shirts, chunked it in the dryer with the towels, and walked out the door an hour later wearing a white shirt with towel lint stuck to the arms. Because that's how I roll.

So everything was going as normal. Woke up late. Check. Laundry woes. Check. Kids ate healthy breakfast of Oreo poptarts and grape Koolaide. Check. Checked school email and found out that the science class pet is loose in the school. And it is a snake. Check.


Say what?

Oh....that was my normal day turning into Code Red.

Or Code Green. For the garter snake named Rambo that is now loose in the school. And I don't like snakes. Pet ones named Rambo or not.

The email from our precious science teacher stated that Rambo was harmless. That he was small. And that he was "cute." Excuse me. Cute? Yes. She said "cute." And she asked that if we found Rambo wandering the halls to kindly call her, and she would come and get him.


All I can do is shake me head. And break out in cold sweats in my white tee. And hope that Rambo doesn't run up under my flip flop. Because Rambo would have to die.


Carpoolqueen said...

Rambo under my flip flop would equal prying me lose from the ceiling tiles.

Kill 'em all - Let God sort them out.

Oh, and I fed my kids breadsticks for supper. Dry. No dip. With a glass of milk.

Elizabeth said...

OK, snakes don't bother me all that much. I don't touch them or hold them, but I don't scream when I see one, unless it's in water where I am swimming. I can't handle that.

But my husband FREAKS OUT when we even talk about snakes. And if he finds them in the yard while he's mowing he mows right over them. And makes me clean up their guts.

I think Rambo sounds pretty sweet:)

Amy Fulmer said...

I think probably only you, J.B., and those innocent fourth grade boys know how I feel about snakes. Remember,"I will not scare Mrs. Elkins with snakes. I will not scare Mrs. Elkins with snakes." I am so right there with you, sister. Rambo would breathe his last.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, yeah, the snake, whatever, let's talk about the true drama of this post....What's with the DVR cutting off the last performance on IDOL last night?! Same thing happened to me and I almost choked! This is about as bad as last year's "And the winner is David....".That's all I got. Some of us don't have the luxury to watch TV live. We have small people that demand food and sleep. Should we write our Congressmen or just go straight to Obama?

Kendra said...

When I worked in a school, the class pet tarantula got out and the whole school was in a panic. I calmly went to the room and scooped the critter up and put him back where he belongs. Snakes and spiders don't bother me at all. Balloons, yes. Critters no. I'd save you if I lived there!

lisa@littlesliceoflife said...

I would soooo be taking a personal day from work until Rambo was located.

What was the freakin' deal with the DVR cutting off American Idol?! They must not EVER let that happen again! I couldn't even sleep last night. I felt incomplete. Pathetic.

Jackie @ Our Moments Our Memories said...

No way! Craziness!

Ok, this is where I admit to letting some crazy person drape an enormous 6 foot snake around my neck once. I even had a picture taken, although I am not sure what happened to it. I can't say that I care to repeat the experience, though.

But the roaches that run rampant through my house every spring? Now THAT will make me scream.

Anonymous said...

Fun post! My kids have asked for a pet snake on numerous occasions...talk about the creeps! I hear ya!

Nina Diane said...

oh no......that is the worst fear I have...snakes! And yes, Rambo must die. And another thing, I have never been able to understand how anyone could possible consider a snake as a pet! now really!!

Becky said...

I'm with you on the snakes...only good ones are dead ones!

I admit that I had completely forgotten the load of laundry in my washing machine until reading you post last night! Luckily, I didn't have to rewash and they finished drying before 10:00.

Lori Motl said...

Keep us posted on the Rambo saga...will he be found? Will he indeed be crushed by the heel of the flip-flop? Will he escape to the glories of a neighboring field?

My Idol timer got deleted! I missed the whole thing. I was too busy watching North and South to watch it live. Thank heaven for computers!

Tiffani said...

When I taught school, we had NO class pets for this very reason.

Girl, you missed MY MAN tear it up on Idol...just sayin'

I am the queen of last minute drying/leave clothes in...you were very wise, grasshopper to throw it in w/ the towels..you know of what you speak!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mer@lifeat7000feet said...

Snakes are NEVER cute. They are weird and freaky and scare the bejeebus out of me.

I'm with Lisa, I'd be taking as many personal days as needed until Rambo was found. Or dead. Or found dead.

So...is he still on the lam?