4.20.2009

560

I've never won any awards for my math skillz.

In fact, I had to miss most of my recesses in 4th grade to listen to a whiny lady recite multiplication facts to me on a record. I still harbor great resentment towards multiplication for that very reason. Because you just shouldn't have to give up Freeze Tag for Math. It's just not right.

So the fact that I'm about to bust some math moves on my blog is not only extraordinary...it is just plumb crazy. (I feel your eye rolling, Smart Friends....)

Ready for this?

140 x 4 = 560


Ahhh....560 calories ingested into my body in a 15 minute span.

I wish it had been in the form of a doughnut.

Or an ice cream cone.

Or even a big ole' honkin' chocolate bar.

But. Oh no. I chose to dump 560 calories in my body by eating 4, count 'em 4, bags of these...


Your eyes do not deceive you. Those are in fact graham cracker bugs.

And I ate 560 calories worth of caterpillars, dragonflies, and ladybugs today. One after the other.

Because I was hungry. And they were in the car. And because I momentarily forgot that swimsuit season is only 5 weeks away.

So...you're thinking Good one. But don't beat yourself up over it. It isn't that big of a deal.

To which I tell you that if eating 4 bags of children's snacks wasn't pathetic enough, then the fact that I didn't even share with my kids might just take the cake. And I probably also shouldn't mention that they asked me to share....and I mumbled "No" through a mouthful of butterflies.

Excellent parenting once again.

I deserve an extra dose of cellulite for that one.

11 comments:

Carpoolqueen said...

Those bug bites are CRACK, I tell you, CRACK. I don't even buy them any more, for I cannot be trusted to just consume one portion-sized bag.

My saddlebags prove it.

Kendra said...

What, do they put an extra stick on butter in them to make them extra good? You must have run out of jellybeans, huh?

Tiffani said...

I do love those...

I just (italicized) finished a Boston Creme donut..and I could've eaten FOUR of those..and I'm not even kiddin' puddin'.

Sweets are my downfall, honey..I take NO mercy on them. Bugs, if not smushed, should DEFINITELY be eaten. How cultured you are..they are a delicacy in other countries (of course, you know that)...

Alison said...

It's ok...I'm about to go stuff my face with buttered pecan ice cream.

Lori Motl said...

Amber, I love you! You make me feel normal. Like I'm not alone. Thank you. And I needed the laugh tonight, because I'm the meanest mom on the planet. Just ask my eldest! Thank you!

Mich said...

I'm going to pretend ignorance and not even try to "count" today. It puts stress on my brain. However, we were busy and ate on the go...no telling what kind of numbers I could have added up today! Good thing I'm terrible at math.

Christi said...

Hadn't even heard of them until now...guess I'll have to add that one to the next Wal-Mart trip! Can't pass up a new and exciting snack, now, can we?

Ricardo said...

Oh, Amber. I just love you, girl - makes me feel a little better for the white chocolate chips that I scarfed earlier today.

The Bowden's said...

Oh my! I have these same thoughts every day. You're not alone. :)

Glo said...

You are definitely not alone in that category, because sweets(especially chocolate) are my weakness. I have never tried these bugs though. I HAVE tried that Brownie Melt at McDonald's and OH was it good!!!!! I ate the whole thing without hesitation mind you! I am a chocaholic and a junkaholic....PERIOD!!! Ask Stephanie Davis....she knows how I got hooked on Milky Way Bars and Honeybuns when she worked here.LOL

Michele said...

You are so funny!!! I had some of these yesterday for the first time . . . very good stuff. . . I see why you ate 4 bags and didn't share. Just starve yourself tomorrow to make up for the 4 bags - just kidding!!!