4.02.2009

...And She Takes The Podium And Says....

Hello.


My name is Amber. And I'm a procrastinator.

Hello, Amber.

I also suffer from the addiction of saying things that come back to bite me in the rear.

I'm pretty sure a forty eleven step program is in order.


See this face?

Isn't he precious?

So precious that he was chosen to be the lead in the Preschool Circus. Tate is the "wing masstuh." And so excited about it. He has been counting down the number of "sleeps" until Circus Day.

Guess what? Tomorrow is the circus!

Guess what else? His mama waited until TODAY to hunt for his costume.

Guess what else else? No store in town has any black pants left in his size. (I guess some people actually buy swanky new Easter outfits for their kids....me? Oh no. I'm Mom of the Year....remember?!?!)

Guess what else else else? My BFF Stephanie offered to sew him some pants TONIGHT....what a great friend...willing to bail out a loser mom like me? Couldn't let her do it though.

So...Guess what else else else else? My precious ring master is wearing GIRL PANTS tomorrow.

Shhhhh...don't tell the ring master. He currently is under the impression that all ringmasters have decorative stitching on their pockets....because they are cool like that. Bless his heart. He still believes all his mama's bull.

So. Yes. I'm a procrastinator. And as a result my children might just land themselves in therapy...because one day Tate will look back on the pictures of his ring master days and come to the brutal realization that his mama lied to him....and that ring master's SO do not enjoy decorative stitching.

Oh...the part about stuff spewing out of my mouth and then growing teeth to come back and take a hunk out of my rear?

Yah....that's when I told everyone that Tate would make a pretty girl. And that just once I'd like to put him in a dress or in a cute girly outfit to see how pretty he would be.

Words. Biting. Me.

Tate. Wearing. Girl. Clothes.

Because. His. Mama. Is. A. Loser.

13 comments:

buscher3 said...

Hilarious! I'm sure you're not the only one!! Three boys spells mayhem, not organization. Don't know how you do it!

Lori Motl said...

Dr. Phil needs more people to fill his stage...you are just helping him out with future shows! JK! You snuggle with him on the couch, feed him popcorn and take him Branson on vacation. THAT makes you Mom of the Year. All ring masters need a little flare...a little bling! He'll be great!

The Bowden's said...

Oh don't you worry, he'll never know the difference. You know I have some great stories just like this one so it's all a-okay! :)

Tiffani said...

indeed we are kindred...

I absolutely hate being a procrastinator but don't do much in the way of CHANGING that character defect...huh, I'm ridiculous!! :)

Circus Master's outfits are usually pretty "stitched" up and macked out..so, I think it's totally appropriate..

Be gracious to yourself, Mama..you did good!

Carpoolqueen said...

Hello bloggy twin. My son came home today and said he needed to be a melting popsicle tomorrow for a school play. We're digging out a dirty shirt from the pile and throwing it in the dryer, because Mama ain't doin' another load of laundry today. And he needs a khaki shirt, but I told him that white is really clean khaki.

lisa@littlesliceoflife said...

Ha!!!!!

I'm pretty sure that those circus folk are all cross-dressers anyway. It'll work.

Mandy said...

Hey, Han Solo had a fancy stripe down his pants, right? All the cool kids do it!

snoodlings.com said...

You are so NOT a loser, sweet mom!

You're just giving him fodder for his own blog one day! ;)

John said...

Amber, put down the loser mom flag. But...let Tate dribble a cigarette from his lips or give him an Indiana Jones whip to carry or maybe just some camo paint under the eyes...please...please...

Hey, hope you guys are doing well. We'd love to see you again on your next jaunt to CO...

Nina Diane said...

so funny....and don't forget to post pics. Because then, he'll have all of the internet to blame for his future problems...haha.
great story.....

It's a wonderful life said...

First off you are not a loser you are a great mother with three boys and that keeps you busy!! I am a procrastinator too, join the club.

Libby said...

He is going to be so cute!

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

Amber...two things that make me CRAZY...
1. Costumes
2. Birthday parties

I suck at both of them.