7.29.2010

From Toes to Tampons. You're Welcome.

I had my toes done today.


It's one of those small indulgences that has turned into a flat-out necessity.  About three pedicures ago I switched Preddy Bootie Nayol Schalons.  After my last experience with the still-in-utero-fetus working on my feet, I was definitely ready for a change.  And it was just my luck that a new nail place opened up in town.   And get this....they speak English.  Whahuh?  And they love Jesus.  Double whahuh?  And the lady rubbed my feet for 20 minutes straight today.  Triple whahuh and a scoop of Hallelujah on top.

Heaven, I tell you.  Heaven.  My good buddy, Perpetual Preschool, has decided that pedicures should be covered by health insurance under some mental health clause.  And I totally agree.  I would gladly plop my $20 copay down for that kind of therapy.  You betcha.

I also went and had hairapy today.  I took a picture of my new self right after I walked out of the beauty shop, but I look like I'm 103 years old in it, so I altered it bit.


Um...yah.  Nothing like crow's feet on a smiley face.  Growl.  But the hair is cute and swingy.  Silver lining.

Although most folks wouldn't consider the dentist office as part of a day of blissful therapy, I on the other hand do.  Well, if it is dentist day for the offspring, that is.  Because that means I have an hour to myself in a quiet waiting room where I have nothing to do but just sit.  And contemplate which organs I'm going to sell to pay for the orthodontia services that I was informed today now needed to be paid for.  For not one of my children, mind you, but two.  Anyone need a good kidney?  Lung, perhaps?

Before heading home, I drowned my orthodontic information sorrows in a well-rounded pizza buffet.  Because pizza therapy should also be covered under the mental health clause.  Not only does it make me happy, but it makes me so dingity-dang sleepy that I went home and took a 3 hour nap....which I hear is excellent for the mind, body, and soul.  Amen.

And Walmart.  I almost forgot Walmart.  Because you can't come to town and NOT stop at Walmart.  That would be heresy on all accounts of all things good-and-Arkansan. 

Today's trip to the Mart-of-all-Wals had me buying the all-out-necessities. 


Two cartons of popsicles that turn our poop fun colors, four boxes of cereal that will be gone in 3.4 seconds, and fruit snacks.  These, people, are the things that make our world keep from heaving itself headfirst off its axis. 

And before I forget to discuss it...is anyone else bored out of their gourds with the Great Value sterile white nursing home floor lookin' packaging?  Everything looks the same. 

And I, for one, don't appreciate getting my tampons mixed up with my cheese crackers.

That's all.


7 comments:

He & Me + 3 said...

Your toes look great and I am now so jealous of you with your 20 minute foot rub and english speaking pedicure place...Christian too? Gaa...I need to go there. Where do you live again. I will be right up or down or sideways.

Angie said...

Sounds like you found the perfect place for the toe-blingies!
I'm in desperate need of a good pedi. And a brow waxing! I'm pretty sure mine shouldn't be as thick as my dads!!

So glad I got to see you a bit last week. Family is the perfect warm snuggly.

Love ya!!

Elizabeth said...

Leave it up to you to come up with a catchy title like that! Do you make them up before or after you write your post? They always crack me up!

There is NO WAY you look 103 in any picture, so whatever. I'm just going to ignore that part of your post:)

I get you on the orthodontic bill. Yikes! But her teeth are already so pretty, so straight, that I know it will be worth it, even if she can't go to college.

My friend who works in advertising says W-M knows exactly what they're doing with the cheap-looking packaging. They made it look cheaper and raised the prices! Some name-brand stuff is actually cheaper for me now!

I have not bought one box of popsicles all summer!

Jim said...

Amb,
You've done it again, girl! Totally wiped me out with all of your descriptive adje-tibles! You can make the mundane fungain - of course, that obviously comes from your rascal raising experiences - and maybe just a tidbit of Jim-Dad gene. Right?

Love you, my girl!
Jim-Dad

Bridget said...

Seriously too funny! Love the toesies!

Nancy said...

My niece just told me that she gets her 50 minute massages at the 'Wild Orange' spa (with a name like that you know it's not a physical therapy type salon)in her hometown and charges it to her medical plan - so I definitely think toes, nails and even waxing should be included.

Agreed! The white 'Dharma Initiative' style boxes (Lost) need to go.

Gretchen said...

You wear generic tampons?


darling toes, and are you turning into a spokesperson for walmart? the smiley had me guessing that was the ticket.

xxxooo