The Slightly Inappropriate Gohjus Preddy Boody Nail Suhlon

Before last summer, I could count on one hand the number of pedicures that I've had in my life.  They were an extreme luxury, and, frankly, not a lot of people I knew got them...unless it was for a special occasion.

And now it seems that bi-monthly pedis are worked into family budgets like the H2O bill. 

Works for me.

Because I'm addicted.  My toes actually begin to scream at me if too many days go by before they are plunged back down into the swirly waters of the leather massage chairs at my local nail salon.  Just walking in the door of the establishment and smelling the thick fog of ammonia is like crack.  I have arrived at podiatrical nirvana.

If you live in my area, then you are going to know the salon of which I speak, but I think I'm safe in that none of you are their first cousins or anything...so I shall proceed...

At the first of this week, my last go-round with a spunky pinky color and blingified black flowers on my big toes had started to chip and crack.  And my cuticles were craving cleanage.  It was time.

I chose an afternoon that I was childless, because achieving foot nirvana is slightly more difficult if I'm having to break up a fist fight while a sharp metal object is being wielded in the direction of my pinkie toe.  I entered the door of the salon and was greeted with:

"Hedoe.  May I hep you?"

"I need a pedicure, please."

"OK.  You sit dare."  And I was ushered to the only empty chair in a line of other women achieving foot nirvana.

I removed my flipflops and settled myself down into the chair.  The release of tension in my toes was already letting up.


He started touching me.

Um...excuse me.  I think there is a mistake.  This person touching my legs and feet is young enough to be my offspring

You see, I'm used to the ladies doing my nails.  Or the older gentlemen.  It's their job, right?  But a 14 year old teenager rubbing scrubbing salts and massage oil on my legs made me feel slightly uncomfortable.

Like gripping the armrests of my chair uncomfortable.
And I was looking for the police.  Because something about the whole deal made me feel slightly felonious.

I totally get that training for taking over the family business is necessary...but I'm thinking that training on my legs and feet is not okay.  Surely there are mannequins or something...at least until you are of legal voting age.

I did leave with pretty toes. 

But it wasn't the therapy that I needed.  In fact, I left more stressed about the condition of my feet than when I went in.

And from now on, I will make it a point to only go in the mornings...when surely Mr. Fourteen Year Old Foot Fixer is at school.

Oh. Shoot.  It's almost summer.

Time to find a new Gohjus Preddy Boody Nail Suhlon.

UPDATE***  My good buddy Whimzie hooked me up with this link...and I'm so glad that she did!  I totally forgot about this chick.  LOVE HER. 


Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...


whimzie said...

Feel free to delete this comment and one of the two that I posted before this one.

Jo said...

Chuckle! Snicker! Snort! These were so funny! My dogs are the only ones within ear-shot, so I don't normally laugh out loud at anything funny on TV or the computer. (The pups' sense of humor is different from mine, yanno?) But, the first video really got me...so stinkin' hilarious!
Thanks for sharing these!
I ♥ U !

Bridget said...

I'm addicted to pedicures too. I've only had two, though. The first one a couple of months ago and the second one three weeks ago. Ahhhh, I'm wanting to get another one next week...

Anonymous said...

The more haste, the less speed.......................................................

Angie said...

I so love my hot pink blingie toes!! But your right, a teenager working on my tootsies? Truly cringeworthy! At least you didn't end up with 'teenage angst' tats on your toes:)
Love you!

Mich said...


Oh Amb, I honestly don't know what to say... except that I laughed out loud!

I love you! Have a great mother's day!

Tiffani said...

oh girl. I cringe that way at ANY pedicure...I curl my toes up just thinking about all that rubbing on my feet!! Just get the yuck off my heels and get my toenails lookin' purty. End.of.story.

Those links are hilarious!! I've seen them both before...Anjelah, especially!

theelizabethhighsmith said...

i have sympathy pains, i had a little twerp with an atlanta braves tattoo give me a manicure once, he criticized my hands the entire time!

seriously dude, i know that's why i'm here! glad you survived and have pretty toes to boot! here's to no more babies in the nail salon!

maybe we should start saying

i a wanna gown up wif my pedi, ja!

Bridget said...

psst! I've got a surprise for you on my blog!!

Sami said...

I never had a pedicure until a few years ago. I always thought it was too decadent and frivelous. Until I had one. And then I was hooked! For awhile there I got one every two weeks or so. Sadly, I have only had about 3 in the last year. (you can cry for me now...) For some reason I had to spend the money on food and shelter after I got married. What the heck is up with that???!!!! But now that we have a fancy new place and job I'm going back to the pedis!! Can't wait!! After all, my feet have to be pretty on the beach :)

New Every Morning said...

That last video made me laugh out loud. SO funny and true!

Thanks for a good chuckle today, friend. You make ma happy.