Please Don't Tell....

.....my trainers that because I knew I was happily skipping sadly missing bootcamp tonight, I decided to go ahead and fall completely off  dangle my left big toe over the side of the diet wagon.  I took the boys out for ice cream today, and instead of chewing on a piece of gum to stifle the gnawing in my stomach, I dove head first into a pile of cookie dough icecream mixed with peanut butter and graham cracker crumbs.  Yah, you heard me.  And it was every bit as good as it sounds.  As were the stares of the people in the ice cream place as they watched me lick every slurping drop out of the inside of that styrofoam bowl.  You betcha.

.....my kids that I despise watching their baseball practices.  The husband is otherwise detained, so that means that I have to pick up the slack on practice duty this week.  And, honestly, I would rather hunt down a random porcupine in the woods, slather his quills in lemon juice, and then jam them one-by-one in my eye.  Don't get me wrong -- I adore my man children.  And I adore watching them play baseball.  But that's just it...I love to watch them PLAY.  Not practice.  Blech. Ugh. And a heavy dose of Argh. 

.....your blogs that I haven't been reading them.  I don't want your gorgeous sites of bloggy love and joy to feel neglected.  But neglected they are...at least by me.  But my mojo for the internetty has taken a brief hiatus, it seems.  I'm going to blame it on Global Warming.  That seems like a sufficient place to place the blame....it works for Washington, anyway.

.....my kids that they are looking at two weeks longer of school than their public school friends.  I worked on mapping out the entire rest of the school year a couple of days ago, and I can see the end in sight.  And right now, the boys are excited about our countdown to summer.  But as soon as they talk to one of their little friends about it, I'm pleading the Fifth.  And then I'm going to say horrid things about their little friends and tell them that they are crazy.  Because that's easier than admitting that had I had my stuff a little better together this year, we'd already be done.  Ahem.


What do you want me to keep a secret for you?
Go on...tell me.
Your secrets are safe with me!!