Redneck Inoculation Week

So we dove into the world of all things Redneck this week.

You think I'm kidding.

I'm not.

First up:
Toby Keith and Trace Adkins in concert in Southaven, Mississippi. All courtesy of our good buddy Wes's incredible gift of chatter.

I was so ding dang excited about the whole thing, I even bought a hat.


Kirk, Lisa, and I headed off to Southaven Wednesday to meet Wes after dumping and running dropping our children off with a very tearful goodbye. We bribed some of our great friends to keep our kiddos, and shockingly enough, they obliged us so that we could run around and act like hooligans for a night.

We didn't waste anytime. We checked into our hotel and then skedaddled straight to the concert. For we had a Meet & Greet to get to. Only we came to find out that our idea of Meet & Greet is different than multi-million dollar recording artists' idea of a Meet & Greet. I was envisioning schmoozing it up next to Trace and Toby and chatting about our kids, our favorite restaurants, and then they would do things like sign my hat, sign autographs to all 938, 857, 839 people on my friends and family list, and then we would take multiple pictures together while we giggled quietly with eachother.

Um. No. Their idea of a Meet & Greet is herding you through a line like cattle. No joke. We were with Mr. Trace Adkins for exactly 43.7 seconds....long enough for him to ask me how I was and for us to take this picture together.

Um...yes. He really is that freakin' tall. And he is a very pretty man...that's all I'm going to say about that.

After his security dug out their cattle prods and herded us back out the gate, we found our seats! And were they good seats.

See where we're standing? Yep...we were that close. Any closer and I could have reached out and grabbed that long ole' hair of Trace's.

And then the music started. And Lisa, Wes, Kirk, and I danced. And we sang. And we danced some more. And we posed for pictures while we were dancing and singing and dancing some more.

And there the hotties are right there. That's Toby Keith on the left and Trace on the right. Each of their concerts were totally awesome, and then they closed the show together. Amazing. And patriotic. And I might have cried.

And this is Lisa and I after the show...giddy and squealy and totally ready to become groupies. Oh...those streamers? Those are Toby streamers! And I dressed myself in them. And swore that I would keep them forever. But then left them in my hotel room. Oops.

The concert was amazing. It was super fun, but what was even better than the music and being all kinds of star-struck was hanging out with 2 of the best friends that Kirk and I have ever had. So, once again, here's a big THANK YOU to Wes and Lisa for inviting us along! It was a blast!!!

Second Up on the Redneck agenda:

The County Fair. Nothing gets more rednecky than our county fair. And we did it up in high style.

We headed out Friday morning for the Petting Zoo portion of the fair. We went with some friends from our Homeschool group, and we had a good time joking about all the opportunities we were going to have to go home with a good ole' souvenir of swine flu.

We geared up in our boots so that we could have full reign of the fair....animal poop, mud puddles, and water galore included.

I have no idea what the boys are thinking in this picture, but I'm pretty sure Keaton is saying, "Mom....why did you let my baby brother wear turquoise boots out in public?"

To which I replied, "Well, darling, they go with his girl pants. And I don't really care if your brother looks like a girl if it saves me a temper tantrum."

So, we went on into the livestock barn, turquoise boots and all, and did lots of this:

And we saw a cow whose tail had been rolled on sponge rollers then night before. Only in Arkansas.

And then we looked at giant vegetables and fruit.

And then we milked a fake cow.

And then we looked at funny poultry. This rooster was my favorite. Isn't his hair groovy?

In fact, the only thing groovier may have been his woman's hair....check it out. It reminds me of little old lady hair. Cracked.Me.Up.

After an afternoon of poultry looking, we headed to the County Fair Rodeo. It only has about 4 entries in each event, but it was super fun. And the kids had a blast. They even got to chase the rodeo clowns around the arena in the mud, and Keaton rode a sheep. It's what we do here in the South. Good clean fun.Next Up on the Redneck Agenda:

The Demolition Derby at the County Fair. Oh...not our county's fair. We aren't high-classed enough to have a Crash 'Em Up Derby....nope. You have to travel over to the next county over to get in on that action.

We headed out with our besties, Wes and Lisa and their girls, and Danny and Jennifer and their son Hesley (who incidentally won a huge ole' belt buckle the night before for riding a sheep the longest! Go Hesley!!).

We held our ears and grimaced as we watched grown men in ripped up tee-shirts crash into eachother in nasty ole' beater cars. Talk about a great time.

It really was a great night. Keaton came home with his pockets stuffed full of car parts that had been blown off the cars and we were all covered in dirt and grime....a running trend for the weekend.

But probably the highlight of Redneck Inoculation Week is that only in the South can you see this. And upon seeing such a fascinating piece of fashion expertise you feel like a true American.
God Bless the Redneck U.S.A.