Cleanically Challenged

I made the comment to some people that Mondays are always hard because my house is weekend-messy.

Some people totally get weekend-messy.

Some people don't.

Because apparently those are the people that use their Saturdays to clean all day. Which I.Do.Not.

And let me tell you why.

It's the husband.

It's all his fault.

Because if he is home....I'm rendered cleanically challenged.

I just can't do it. All ability to do laundry, sweep floors, vacuum, and dust walk right out of the door as soon as the husband walks in it.

Now before you start thinking it is because I surgically attach myself at the hip to him thus being the reason for weekend-cleaning-helplessness, I don't.

In fact, he could be outside working on manly stuff, and I still can't do it. My body screams in tacky bar-room neon, "Husband. Home. No. Clean." And I obey.

So I usually take a nap. Or watch reruns of Project Runway.

Because you should always listen to your body.

So fast forward to Monday mornings, when I rip into gear and go on a cleaning frenzy. This morning, all dishes were done, cabinets scrubbed, floors mopped, all surfaces dusted, every inch of carpet vacuumed, and bathrooms degermified....all before 10:30 a.m.

And now the house is back in order.

Until the weekend.

When the husband is home.

And my house will resemble a toxic waste zone.


Mary @ Simple Things said...

I just can't do housework on the weekends either. It just doesn't seem right. Problem is, I work in an office 40 hours a week and the weekend is the only real time I have to clean. That would be the reason my house is a dump 24/7. I thought we were going to have self cleaning houses by the year 2000. The Jetsons lied.

Mich said...

Mary's comment made me smile... oh sis, can you get me a sel cleaning house for Christmas this year?

What happens if you are me, who is alot like you, but I work and my hubby is home when I'm home?

Tiffani said...

I know I don't have to tell you how kindred we are...but this is ON the list!!

Same here..I even am admitting in this comment that the dishes even pile up in the sink...and then in one fell swoop (very occasionally on Sunday night) or Monday morning..done. and quickly!!

Besides, weekends were MEANT for rest, relaxtion and FUN..NOT cleaning!

Mich said...

there I go not proof reading before i post again..."self"

Kendra said...

We refuse to do housework on the weekend. Except laundry, because one never knows when your underwear drawer will run dry. Weekends should be savored by lying around, watching HGTV, hanging with your peeps, and just enjoying each other. Another reason why I'm scared to ever sign the kid up for sports. Because I don't want to be at a soccer game at 8AM on a Saturday, either.

Lemonade Girl said...

I have the same problem. It was really difficult when Hubby was unemployed and at home All.The.Time. I never wanted to get anything done!

Carpool Queen said...

I clean on the weekends BECAUSE the husband is home. When he's not home, it all goes to pot.

PS - And even if I clean on Saturday, it's a disaster on Monday. And every other ding.dang.day

Gretchen said...

Agree with you, Girl. And Amber, you're doing things your way, from blue box dinners to cleaning Monday mornings to Project Runway reruns. If it's working for you, I'm happy for you. And I say, GOOD for you, too. Who needs cookie cutter people? God only created on AmberRascalRaiser. You're an original, amazing work of art. xxxooo

Elizabeth said...

I was just thinking this today, as I do every single Monday! The house is a wreck over the weekend, and by Monday I'm about to lose my mind! I clean like a madwoman most of the day. Laundry, mop, etc. But certainly not before 10:30, you crazy lady. I am so impressed!

Cathy said...


What's that again?

The Bowden's said...

I'm the exact same way. I know today is Ronnie's last day to work this week so I have been running around here like a mad woman, hoping to get it all done today. :)

Becca said...

haha At least you clean on mondays - I usually avoid that too . . .

Jennifer said...

So I was cleaning my carpets Saturday cuz the hubs was at work!! Had just gotten done with the living room and was headed to the hallway when the hubs gets home! All of a sudden, I forgot how to clean carpets!!

Just sayin'!:)

Love ya!!

New Every Morning said...

Every job deserves the weekend off. And since you have two jobs right now: mothering and teaching, you totally deserve to take the weekend off. It's just different because you are still at the 'workplace' for the weekend.

Enjoy your Cleanically Challenged day

mimi said...

My house was clean yesterday afternoon....G came home and I ran out. When I got home...you guessed it, it was messy again.

Andrea said...

My house is all-the-time-messy!

Good thing people come for dinner once in a while or it might never get cleaned!

Anonymous said...

I'm so cleanically challenged right now I could just throw up.

Anonymous said...

I'm so cleanically challenged right now I could just throw up.

Anonymous said...

I'm so cleanically challenged right now I could just throw up.

christy rose said...

I hate to clean on weekends too. And I am waiting for the self cleaning houses too. As fast as technology seems to be moving. It is taking its sweet time with the best invention. EVER!