He's My Lobster

I just realized that I totally bypassed Valentine's Day.
Get it? 

Bypass?  On HEART Day?  Crack.Me.Up.

Well, I didn't really bypass V-Day...not in real life anyway.  Just here.  Like here.here.  I didn't blog about my Valentine.  I didn't say anything about my husband.  Sheesh.  Some sweetheart I am.  I should be tar and feathered. 

So....in honor of the husband who is my for-better-or-for-worse-better-half Valentine....I give you:

Fascinating Facts About Me and the Husband That You Had No Idea You Were Missing Out On But Now Your Life Will Be Complete Because of This Post.
You're Welcome.

1. What are your middle names?
  • His -- Matthew
  • Mine -- Janell  (I usually spell my name JANELLE, with an E, because it's more romantic like "Anne with an E" from Anne of Green Gables.  Not sure why my parents named me just plain ole boring Janell.)
2. How long have you been together?
  • Married?  12 years. 1 month. 3 weeks. 4 hours. 12 minutes. & 8 seconds. 
  • 9 seconds.
  • 11 seconds.
  • shoot....you get the idea.
3. How long did you know each other before you started dating? 
  • Exactly 4 school years.  I met him on the first day of 9th grade, and we started dating on the night of our high school graduation. 
  • A collective "Awwww" is appropriate.  Go on.  I'll wait.
4. Who asked who out?
  • Neither.  We just kinda ended up together.  We were one of "those."
5. Whose siblings do you see the most?
  • It's a toss up.  We're one of those families where no one lives in the same town as anyone else, so it's pretty tit-for-tat.  Just depends on the weather and price of gas in Norway.
6. Do you have any children together?
  • Um...you do know what blog you're reading, right?  But, I'll play along. 
  • Yep.  Kids.  Three of 'em. 
7. What about pets?
  • Velvet -- the black lab puppy we found in a ditch.  She died.
  • Daisy -- our sweet yellow lab that was our first pet as a hitched couple.  She died. 
  • Lucy -- a black lab that was the spawn of Satan.  She died.
  • Seeing a theme here?  Moving on.
  • Ty and Puddles -- my dogs from my parents' house that moved in with us.  They died.
  • Einstein -- our turtle.  He was set free.  But I'm sure he died.
  • Luke Skywalker -- a cat.  He got in a fight with another animal; lost his bottom lip.  And then he died.
  • Ozzie -- our golden retriever.  Best dog EVER.  Had a run-in with a car and the car won; left him with 3 legs.  He's been missing about 5 weeks now.  We're very sad.
  • Lunabelle -- our Humane Society dog that we considered ours for exactly 25 hours.  Then we took her back.  She is still alive.
  • Indiana Jones -- our cat.  He's still alive.
  • We don't have the best luck with pets.  But we're nice people, wear our seatbelts, and occasionally give money to charity.  Don't hold our animal inabilities against us.
8. Did you go to the same school?
  • We went to the same High School.  We fell in love in Spanish class.  And I used to borrow his way cool silk shirts.  Holla.
9. Who is the most sensitive?
  • The husband has a way sensitive nose.  Like don't even dare touch it with the tip of your pinkie or he will come unglued and slug you.  You think I'm kidding?  Just try it. 
  • But I think the question means feelings and lying-on-a-couch-talking-to-a-legal-pad and stuff.  Me.  Definitely me.  It is possible that I cry often.  But not as much as the husband if you touch his nose.  Just sayin'.
10. Where do you go out to eat most as a couple?
  • That question insinuates going out alone as a couple.  That doesn't happen. 
  • So....McDonald's.  For Happy Meals.
11. Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
  • Vancouver.  Eh?
12. Who has the craziest exes?
  • I plead the Fifth.
13. Who has the worst temper?
  • Me -- about stuff that doesn't matter
  • Him -- about stuff that does
14. Who does the cooking?
  • I guess I do, but I don't really call what I do "cooking."  It's more "dump stuff out of boxes into pots."  But we'll call it "cooking" if you want to.
15. Who is more social?
  • Um...that would be me.  The husband would be content to never come in contact with another human being for the rest of his life. 
16. Who is the neat freak?
  • We both like things neat, but neither of us freak out if things aren't.  Praise.the.Lord. because neat doesn't happen around here very often. 
17. Who is the most stubborn?
  • He is.  No question.  Although he lets me have my way a lot.....Sucker. *wink*
18. Who hogs the bed?
  • Him. Him. Him. Did I mention Him?  No? .....Him.
19. Who wakes up earlier?
  • He's going to want me to tell you that he does.  Because he gets up at 6 a.m. every morning to go to the gym.  Truth is:  the alarm is on my side of the bed because he can't hear an alarm go off.  So that means I have to get up every morning to get him up.  The things we do for love.
20. Where was your first date?
  • I don't remember.  Shameful.  I do, however, remember the night that we "hooked up."  That's something, right????  It was at our Project Graduation, and the next morning we went and ate breakfast together at Steak-n-Shake.  Romance over a plate of skinny fries at 7 in the morning. 
21. Do you get flowers often? 
  • Nah.  But that's alright.  I'd rather buy new shoes.
22. How long did it take to get serious?
  • Um.....started dating at the end of May.  Engaged in November.  What do you think?
23. Who eats more?
  • I can hold my own, thank you very much.
24. Who sings better?
  • We both think that we sound marvelous.  No one else seems to agree with us.
25. Who does the laundry?
  • I can count on one hand the loads of laundry that the husband has done since we got married.  And those were only because I was out of town, and he wasn't at his mama's house.
26. Who’s better with the computer?
  • If you're talking techy?  Him.
  • If you're talking socially?  Me. 
27. Who drives when you are together?
  • The husband.  But I will take the wheel if he is dead tired.  But I don't know why I do, because he rarely sleeps when I'm driving.  Apparently he doesn't appreciate my skilz.
28. Who picks where you go to dinner?
  • That would be me.  Because I'm a princess.
29. Who wears the pants?
  • I prefer a cute summer skirt, thanks. 
  • Kidding....he does.  And he grunts and beats his chest, too. 
30. Who has the better sense of humor?
  • Not a day goes by that I don't giggle at that man. 
31. Who eats more sweets?
  • Again.  I plead the Fifth.
32. Who cries more?
  • I'm a faucet. 
33. What's your favorite tv show together?
  • We used to be very mature tv watchers.  Very grown-up shows like CSI and NCIS.  But then I dragged him to the dark side of Reality TV.  Muahahahaha.
34.  Would you marry him again?
  • A million times over.  He's my lobster.


kate said...

I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.



Jim said...

ER...JANELL! We did it so you'd be different. Who.da.thot.that no "E" on the tail end would be considered un.romantical. After all, you were nameed pre.AOGG!

Well, WWWWHHHHHHOOOOOO.WHO! Look at the SMILE on Capt'n Kirk! What's that I see on his cheek? A dimple! Happy Late Valentine's, you all!


Tiffani said...

this is sooo ding dang funny!!!

I loved all of your answers.

the pet list threw me over the edge of almost peeing in my pants laughing...um, let's discuss before you attempt another one, ok?! ;)

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

Love this, Amber. You guys are so cute. ;)

Does K watch Glee with you? John watched with me for awhile but now he can't be persuaded...thinks it's too "feminine" for him. ;)

Marla Taviano said...

I don't think I've ever seen a cuter couple in my life. K looks like he's up to no good though.

This post was hilarious. Good work!

Mich said...

Awww...so sweet!

Wow! i could comment on so very much here, but I will let it all be...don't want to ruin the moment.

Love ya!

The Bowden's said...

What a fun post! :)

New Every Morning said...

You. Are. HYSTERICAL!!!!

Now that you've shared your penchant for animal mortality, your readers will never agree to a "Lunabell" post again. Better stick with kids.

Because I love you, and I know that you are an innocent MK, I feel it is my duty to let you know something about #20. "Hooked up" used to, as in the 80's and early 90's, refer to when you started "going together." Now, it means, well, a whole lot more than deciding to date exclusively. Ahem. Just fyi. And if you already knew that, then maybe #20 was tmi.

Beam Me Up Scotty said...

Todd and Kelly's first date: Umm, yep, Steak 'n" Shake. I almost didn't move here though because they had no brown gravy! Eh?

Pet list....cracked me up!!

I love learning these tidbits about you guys.


Michele said...

I swear you are one of the funniest people I know. You're cracking me up!!!

Anonymous said...

This was so much fun!!

And I love that he's your lobster because I'm still not over the end of Friends.

Gretchen said...

You sound like the perfect couple to me. So fun to get the dirt...er...learn about you. :)