Water Cooler Discussions... (Interpretation: What I'm Talking To Myself About)

1.  We don't really have a water cooler at my house.  And if we did have one, it wouldn't be filled with water.  It'd be a tank of sweet tea or over-sugared kool aid.  Because I tend to always over-sugar everything.  Try not to be judgy. 

2.  I giggled and guffawed all over myself this morning as the husband got dressed.  Even after reading this post and rolling his eyes incessantly at me for writing it, he did it again!  He stood in front of the closet and stared.  And then paced to his dresser.  Cracks.Me.Up.Every.Time.

3.  My mother-in-law is getting an extra present this year.  Because she is rescuing the children from their about to blow a gasket if someone doesn't get out of this house this everlovin' minute mother me from the throngs of all things testosterone related this weekend.  The husband is getting his deer hunter on.  The rascals are getting their spoiling on.  And I'm getting the weekend all.to.myself.  I'm going to indulge myself in all thing girly.  And lazy.  And if I clean....there won't be a nasty boy to come behind and mess it up.  At least until Tuesday.  Ah. Sweet bliss.

4.  I just found out that three of my besties have never experienced the wonder and joy that is Mr. Darcy.  It seems like a crime to me that a woman can go through her life without Pride and Prejudice.  I have failed as a friend.

5.  I was a guest blogger the other day over at Jen's place.  Well, really more of a guest hijacker.  She is under the impression that "she doesn't have anything to write about."  And I told her that I was tired of seeing her blog on my sidebar and it never being updated.  So head over there and leave her a comment and tell her that she needs to get her act in gear.

6.  I'm still researching A.D.D. and still think that I have it.  Apparently I have also highly upset my parents by my self-diagnosis.  And I also want to clarify that I don't know that I would put myself on the meds for the disorder.  I just want to know if I have it.  Because I really think it would make me feel better to label all my disorganization and multi-tasking issues on some kind of disorder...rather than just finding out that I can't get my act together. 

7.  Our three legged dog, Ozzie, has been missing for two days now.  We aren't the best pet owners, as many of you well know, and our pets have been known to go off gallivanting for days on end.  But I'm beginning to get nervous.  I'm hoping that Oz is just off a'courtin' or drinkin' coffee with his other old-man-dog-friends.  At least this is what I'm telling the children.

8.  I threw up in Zumba again yesterday.  I'm about to take it as a sign that I should just stop exercising and prepare myself for the onslaught of eatery that is the holidays.  And I had actually been contemplating hiring a personal trainer. But for her personal safety, I had better not. Because I certainly don't need to expose anyone to nasty throwup germs at the height of flu season.  So me stayin' out of the gym is really just lookin' out for the best interest of Jenny the Trainer.  I'm so thoughtful.

9.  Sawyer's flag football season started this week, and I have decided that I was not blessed with the spiritual gift of flag football fanaticism.  It is all I can do to not pick up my chair, march to my car, and go peruse the laundry detergent aisle at Walmart for the duration of the game.  Because that HAS to be more entertaining.  Call me a horrible parent, but I'm not sure why watching flag football isn't a well-executed torture device.

10.  For the past two weeks, I put myself on a strict budget.  My check registry lists NOTHING except bills, a trip to the grocery store (at which I got my heavy coupon on and only bought the necessities on my list), and a fill-up at the gas station.  I'm very proud of us.  It was hard to not whip the van into Sonic for a PDDP, or buy an Almond Joy and an US Weekly in the checkout line, or pick up Arby's beef-n-cheddars for dinner instead of cookin'.  But we did it!  Yeah.Us.

11.  I did, however, go by Cracker Barrel for coffee and a piece of cherry cobbler with my besties yesterday.  But I borrowed five bucks from Keaton for that, so that doesn't really count in the large scheme of things.  I'll pay him back.  Honest, I will.  And besides....coffee, cherry cobbler, and inappropriate conversations with girlfriends is highly necessary...and budgetable.  Because I'm listing that under Therapy...which would fall under Medical Bills.  Naturally.

Alright.  My Water Cooler is tapping out.  Eleven is a weird number to top a list off at, but it doesn't seem as rigid and predictable as ending a list at ten.  So eleven, it is.

Until the Water Cooler is refilled...with all things sugary and bad for you...........


theelizabethhighsmith said...

i love your honesty! you enjoy that girls weekend. i hope it's filled with lots of Darcy and Sugary goodness! And when you come to town we'll put the cherry on top of your sugar, we pass no judgement....i think i have add too, but i'll tell you about that later.

Jim said...

You're reading between the lines again! You should know that I am getting to the point I have to use font 16 for my sermons, and can't read, much less write between the lines. So there's nothing there for you to see, much less put any weight of angerification in. We were just informing you of our expert diagnostafication of all things ADD.

Bottom line? You're OK! Oh, I thought of another clue to your wrong diagnosis - you say you can't multitask - what do you call 3 rascals and a "hunterhubby" if not multitasking?

We hope you have a great weekend doing the girly stuff!

By the way, went to the Doctor today and he indicated I was doing OK - just need to watch the INTAKE valve - eat a little less each meal.


Tiffani said...

Wow...we have the same kind of water cooler here!!

I can't wait for you to give me Mr. Darcy (do you think we can actually be quiet long enough to watch a movie together?!)

So Thankful for your girly weekend!!!


Amy Fulmer said...

I will try not to be insulted by your absence of enthusiasm over our boys' footballness. Because, as I know it, you have been entertained AND are up on much "news." So there.

Nina Diane said...

haha.....my hubby stands in front of the pantry and just stares, walks away, opens frig, stares and then goes back to staring at the pantry. cracks me up.......

mimi said...

I hope you find your dog!! I have a soft spot for 3 legged animals...we have a 3 legged fox somewhere on our property.

I can relate to that budget...bills and food. I tempted myself by walking in TJ Maxx..oh it was hard, but I resisted.

Have a wonderful weekend!

Allyson said...

I can't remember how I stumbled upon your blog but you crack me up! lol I too am a mom of 3 boys and SO much of what you talk about sounds like my house. Any my hubby has his deer hunter on right now. My boys are a tad young for that yet but one day soon...

Just wanted to say I LOVE your blog!

lisa@littlesliceoflife said...

My in-laws used to have a water cooler in their kitchen. Right by the microwave.

Mmmmm...Almond Joy.

I'm concerned about Ozzie. I hope he hasn't "gone to Walmart."

New Every Morning said...

What a great post!
Way to go on the budget thing.
Hope your 3 legged pup shows up soon. I'll bet he's at Hardees with all the other cute old men-dogs.

Enjoy your alone-time weekend. How wonderful!!