11.11.2009

Stories About the Husband. He'll Kill Me Later.



The husband often despises the fact that I'm a blogger.

And it doesn't really have anything to do with the fact that I blab personal details about our family all over cyberspace.  Or that I talk about all of you people like you live next door to me, and he often times has to have me clarify who exactly I'm talking about. 

Really what irritates him is that I parade pictures around of him, make snide comments about him never smiling, and tell embarrassing stories about him....all without his permission.  And I've thought about being a teensy bit more respectful of him and his feelings, but if I did that then you wouldn't know about this:

1)  That on Halloween night we had just arrived back home, and the boys were stripping off their costumes...and I was digging in their candy buckets stealing all the chocolate checking all the pieces for safety.  We have a motion sensor light as our porch light, and though we had it turned off because we weren't home that night, it had popped on when we came home.  We hadn't been home 5 minutes and the doorbell rang.  Trick-or-Treater.  So, Kirk went to the door and TOLD THE PRINCESS THAT WE DIDN'T HAVE ANY CANDY AND SENT THE PRINCESS AWAY.  Oh yes he did.  All while I was sitting at the table stuffing my face with Laffy Taffy and Crunch Bars. 

2)  That he laid in bed and thought about that poor princess all night long.  And felt terrible.  And when I joked that her big brothers were going to come back and toilet paper our house that night, he decided that that would, in fact, make him feel better.  And even contemplated going and rolling our house himself.

3)  That I love to watch him get dressed in the morning.  Now...don't let your mind get all wandery.  It isn't what you are thinking.  It is because it is so ding dang comical.  The man walks back and forth between his closet and his dresser no less than 78 times.  He puts shirts on top of shirts because he forgets that he already put a shirt on.  Same with socks.  He'll be telling me about what he's going to do at the gym (he goes every morning before work) while putting on work clothes.  And then he'll realize what he's doing and have to undress and put on gym clothes.  He will be fully dressed and go to the closet, turn the light on, and just stare at his clothes.  And then he'll remember that he's already dressed, turn the light off, and head out of the room.
It.cracks.me.up.  And it makes my days start off just marvelously.

4)  That his favorite word is "literally."  And he uses it a.lot.  Literally.

5)  That he taps his foot when he is talking all smarty.  I can always tell when he's being thinky, because his feet just start a-tappin'.

6)  That all his friends call him the Redneck Physicist.  And it is the truth.  He is the only man I know who can discuss the art of guttin' deer using the Theory of Relativity.  And all while tappin' his foot.  Literally.

Now...before you go off thinking I'm being all disrespectful of my man, I'm not.  I adore him like crazy.  And already warned him ahead of time that I was going to "out" him.  He's just decided to roll with it. 

Because you know what is the best thing about my man?  He is the kindest, gentlest, most compassionate man I've ever met.  He is funny and witty and smart.  And he loves us.

And even though he turns little princesses away...he is amazing.  Literally.


14 comments:

Jim said...

Amb,
I remember the time when I visited Kirk in his apartment in Arkadelphia, some time before you all got married. You had shared with me that you were going through a time of uncertainty about your relationship with him. He also made contact with me and o we talked. He expressed to me his love for you and was frankly in a crisis not knowing exactly how you felt. He was hurting, and the only thing I could say was "give her space and let her work through it" - which he did. I know at that time I was "rooting" for him because I felt he was an ideal for my little girl, and sensed that you knew and felt that, regardless of the jitters you were having.
Later, after he proposed, when he visited me in my office to share with me and get my "ok" I was affirmed. I've never been sorry. I'm especially glad you've never been either.

I recall some times that his "quantum physics" kind of IQ has frankly "blown my mind." One in particular was when he brought the telescope from college to our house (his professor had accidently "broken" something and was having him fix it, which he did.) He set it up on our back deck and showed me my first "naked eye" view of Saturn with its rings. Impressed, affirmed. I was and am.

And, not.with.standing (I really have no idea what those words really mean, cuz I'm sitting down) with 3 rascals added to the mix, I'm quin.tip.pol.ly blessed.

Jim-Dad

Tiffani said...

Jim-Dad! You made me get weepy this mornin'!!!

What sweet words (as usual) your Daddy has for you. I just love it!

This post was great b/c it is those silly things about our men that make us just fall more in love with them everyday! I, for one, am thankful that he's "rollin' with the blogging thing" because he's bringing you to me!!! (Although, I know he secretly is very excited himself, ahem.)

God gave you a very special gift in your Hubby!

New Every Morning said...

What a sweet (and funny) tribute to your man!

Mich said...

Ahhh...Kirky! I just love you to pieces. Literally. :)

Mainly because you put up with my sis and her fam and all our craziness.

Carpool Queen said...

All kinds of crazy goodness here, girly. And now I want to know more about the going crazy about "should I or shouldn't I" while y'all were dating.

Because I'm nosy that way.

And tell K that it's okay to share with me because I know you IRL.

Literally.

lisa@littlesliceoflife said...

Two things...

1. Awww...what a funny and heart-warming tribute to K!

2. I need to know about the jitters that Jim-Dad referenced. How do I not know about this already? Or maybe I do, and I don't remember I know it. :)

imnotned said...

Two postulates from the Deer Theory of Special Relativity:

1. Time slows down in a deer stand (also known as concentration time dilation).
2. The speed of an arrow is constant for all observers in uniform motion relative to one another. And it is always too slow.

The Deer Theory of General Relativity states that gravitational attraction between an arrow and the ground is directly proportional to the number of points on a buck.

Nina Diane said...

such a cute post! Well, for us readers it's a cute post, not so sure on the hubby. But sounds like he's a good sport. My hubby doesn't "get" the whole blogging thing either...

lemonadegal said...

Love this! Love how God has perfectly matched you and K. Love that Jim-Dad reads your blogs and affirms your hubby, too.

Jenny said...

Oh my gosh. My husband has forbidden me from even mentioning him on my blog. Or Facebook.

What's up with them? Don't they know how fun this stuff is?

Cathy said...

Man, that imnotned keeps popping up EVERYWHERE!!

Such a sweet post. I'm thankful he rolls with the ole blog and lets you travel to random strangers homes in far off Oregon...even if he thought I may have been a man. Literally. That kind of IS a fun word to say....

Michele said...

Awwww. . . this is such a SWEET post!!! I hope he reads it and it turns him to mush!!!

Elizabeth said...

Your hubby is so much more understanding than mine. I like that about him! And the morning routine thing cracks me up. A does the same thing!

Sami said...

I believe that my husband is a genius all because he can compare hunting and duck calling with theories and science! I totally get it. Well, I don't get what he's saying but I get your point #6! :)