So...I've been researching. GASP. I know. I know. I find it shocking as well.
But I decided that it was high-time to do some self-diagnosis.
Because I have a problem. Well, lots of problems. But this one bugs the snot out of me.
I think I have A.D.D. You know, the attention problem that all the "bad" kids at school have.
No. Seriously. I do.
See...look. This is what I found:
Individuals with ADHD essentially have problems with self-regulation and self-motivation, predominantly due to problems with distractibility, procrastination, organization, and prioritization.Uh.Huh. That's me. Seriously.
I also found this:
In adults, these [symptoms] evolve into:
ProcrastinationThis is me, y'all. To a T.
Indecision, difficulty recalling and organizing details required for a task
Poor time management, losing track of time
Avoiding tasks or jobs that require sustained attention
Difﬁculty initiating tasks
Difﬁculty completing and following through on tasks
Difﬁculty shifting attention from one task to another
Procrastination? Check. Like every day that I clean up the bar in my kitchen (these aren't consecutive days, mind you) I find a stack of the boys' sports pictures. Like packets and packets. Basketball. Baseball. Soccer. And every day that I find those pictures, I think, Man, I really need to sit down and send these to grandparents and get these in frames in their rooms. Um...I have pictures from 2008 in that stack. And laundry that has been in my laundry room for a year now. And closets that need to be cleaned out. But they aren't. Because....I have decided to do it tomorrow.
Indecision? Check. I couldn't make a decision to save my life. Unless it is about which brand of macaroni and cheese to buy. That I can do. Past that...no dice.
Poor time management? Check. Evidenced by the millions of minutes that I can tick away reading blogs and facebooking and tweeting and instant messaging all of the same people. And the millions of minutes that I do not spend on my laundry. I have, however, mastered the art of computering and watching tv. But I have a feeling that that doesn't really count. Although it makes perfect sense to me.
Avoiding tasks or jobs that require sustained attention? Uh. Double check. Sustained attention like scrapbooking. And journaling. And, very shamefully, quiet times. Because I know that I'll get "bored" easily and won't follow through...so why bother?
Difficulty initiating tasks? Check. I don't initiate. Because I'm scared I won't follow through. Because nine times out of ten, I won't. It's not that I don't want to...I just know better. Like my jewelry business that I started last year. Um...ask me when the last time was that I made a piece of jewelry.
Difﬁculty completing and following through on tasks? Check. Just read what I just wrote up there. Follow through? What's that? In fact, this blog is the ONLY thing that I've actually been able to follow through on with any kind of consistency. And I'm nervous everyday that it will go away.
Difﬁculty multitasking? Triple check. I can chew gum and walk at the same time but that is the extent of my multitasking. Oh. And that whole computer and tv thing. I can't even keep the washer and dryer running while we do school every morning. Can't talk on the phone and do anything but pace. Can't maintain a conversation and fold laundry. I just can't.
Difﬁculty shifting attention from one task to another? Check. And most of the time it is because I forgot what the next task is that I'm supposed to be doing.
In all seriousness, I really believe I have some issues. I can't remember anything; go through extreme periods of complacency; and will lose a train of though mid-sentence.
So, I'm going to go to the doctor. And I'm going to ask them to test me.
And if it comes back that I'm not what I've diagnosed myself with....well.....then.....
I guess I'm pretty much tanked.
If I can remember that I'm supposed to be tanked, that is.
*quotations found here*