Fly By the Seat of My Pants All the Way to Oklahoma -- Day 2

*Post written 10.14.  Published 10.15

Another night in the spy palace down.

And my sneaky peeky Junie B. Jones spy skills proved extraordinary. The rascals and I went undetected, despite one minor luggage cart debacle held in an elevator. But…shhhh…..if someone asks, it wasn’t us. It was the weird guy who wears blue shoes and hosts lambchops for facial accessories. Because you should never trust a guy with blue shoes and lambchops. Ahem, Elvis. Just sayin’.

After doing an all out search-and-rescue operation for a LEGO man’s head, the children and I packed up our room, loaded up the rental, and departed from the spy haven.

And headed for the Oklahoma City Zoo.

In the rain. And the drizzle. And the chill-me-to-the-knee-bone cold. Awesome.

The zoo was…in a word…UNEVENTFUL.

Unless you count Sawyer being accosted by the strange zoo nazi who was quick to tell him that if he didn’t behave she was going to send him back to his bus. Okay, thanks, Ms. Zoo Nazi. How about I send you back to a bus? You know, since we’re sending people to imaginary buses and all. (Forgive me…I’ve never been very good at comebacks…I’m an “I know you are, but what am I?” girl all the way.)

But we did see giraffes.

And Tate was afraid that they would be highly offended by my purse.

I’m sure they were.

Then there was the pathetic looking rhino.

And this poor unfortunate creature…who was having a bad hair day.

I really shouldn’t talk ugly about the poor guy, because I’m pretty sure I looked the same way. Did I mention that it was raining on our heads the whole time?

Um…yah. Good times.

After we had taken in just about as many empty cages and animals that were intelligent enough to get in out of the rain, we hiked the 837 mile trek to the only indoor eating facility at the zoo. That’s where I sold my plasma at the door to buy a few measly fries and cheeseburgers the size of Rhode Island, but only grumbled 837 times once about it because we were finally in the dry.

Because I could feel my blood pressure rising and a migraine coming on, I lied to the children and told them that all the exhibits on the backside of the zoo were closed. It was self-preservation. And they’ll never know. Don't judge me.

So…back in the car and 2 hours until time to pick up the husband from his meeting…what to do? What to do?

The children were screaming Science Museum.

So I obliged them…..and drove straight to the Super Target that I had seen on the road near the spy palace. They were thrilled. I thought about lying and telling them that Target was a Science Museum…but thought better of the idea. Didn’t want to overextend the Mother’s Free Pass To Tell White Lies For Matters of Survival all in one day.

Where was I? Right. Super Target.

Now that is a sight for sore we-don’t-get-out-much eyes. I’ve never had the pleasure of being in a Target so grand, and I am now pleased as punch to be able to cross one more thing off of my bucket list. I set high goals.

Now….before I go on, let me just tell you that waiting with 3 restless boys on a dreary drizzly day for the husband to get out of a meeting causes time to tick by much slower than normal. Slow like Masterpiece Theatre slow.

So what does this mom do when time needs to be filled and there isn’t an Old Navy nearby? Why, go for ice cream, of course!

We headed back here.

We went last night before our movie outing and fell madly in love with the eats and the ice cream. So, it only made sense to go back today.

I ate this. Again.

Calories don’t count on vacation.

And Tate got the ice cream that gives you a permanent mustache.

They should charge extra for that. It being so close to Halloween and all.

FINALLY.

Time to pick up the husband back at spy headquarters. And now we are on the road headed back home.

And the scenery is amazing.

Oh, wait….you have to see what is out the other window.

Awesome.

I’m taking poison ivy fairy drugs and taking a nap.

Fly By the Seat of My Pants All the Way to Oklahoma – Day 2 – Over and out.

Fly By the Seat of My Pants All the Way To Oklahoma -- Day 1

So we made it to Oklahoma.  After 6 hours in a rental car that boasted about as much room as the gold sequin clutch purse I just thought I had to have way back in the day.  Spent $35 on that purse.  And never used it.  Go figure. 

We cruised into the parking lot of our "hotel" late last night and were quickly alarmed at our lodging facilities.  I so badly want to tell you where we're staying, but if I do, I'll have to kill you.  Let's just say, the family is Jason Bourne-ing it to a degree....all sneaky and peeky and hush hush like.  Stealthy, we are.  I will tell you that we are somewhere that has to do with the US Government...which is super weird, considering the husband is at a meeting about roofing.  Yes.  I said roofing.  Confused?  Um...yah.  Us, too.

Because this lodging establishment isn't exactly your "normal" set-up, we slept like sardines last night.  No one will ever accuse us of not being resourceful.  I'm not sure about the rest of the fam, but I slept soundly despite the feet in my face, thanks in huge part to the high-powered drugs that the poison ivy fairy gave me yesterday.  NICE.

Up and at 'em this morning, the husband went his way to discuss roofing and all its intricate details, and the boys and I headed to the Natural History Museum that is on Oklahoma University's campus.  Being as it was a school day, I did my teacherly duty and exposed the children to something educational. 

So...we looked at dinosaurs.

And more dinosaurs.

And we saw weird petrified rats.  Ick.

And we pretended like we were getting stomped by a huge mammoth.  Just because that's cool.

Although I will tell you that the strange little security guard gets a little nervous when you go messin' with his mammoth.  Just sayin'.

We also saw a yak, so said Tate.  Which made me giggle a lot bit.  Because I have a thing for yaks.

You homeschool mamas will be happy to know that I did inform the children that it wasn't a yak...because that creature whose skull was on display would have lived in Oklahoma...and we all know that yaks live in Budapest.

We then journeyed on to the gift shop and saw Carpoolqueen's infamous windchimes. 

Note the sign.  The Great Family of Carpool hath doth left its mark.

After doing as much damage as humanly possible, we headed off to find some lunch.  I had already had a "Don't make me turn this car around and drive back to our spy palace!" moment, so we went to The Cheesecake Factory.  Because I told the children that they needed to practice their manners.  It was really because I wanted cheesecake. 

And then it was time.

Time for pure heavenly bliss for all things masculine in nature.

Yep.  The LEGO Store.  And yep.  I've lost my ever-lovin' mind.

But the children were beside themselves.  Like screaming like little girls, running around like crazy beside themselves.

And I realized that Legos equal hours of peace and quiet for me, so plunk down moohla I did.

And now this is what is happening in my spy quarters as I type this....

In other news....

I had the privilege of going into a real life Apple Store.  I know....don't scoff.  I don't get out much.  But I was so beside myself in i-heaven, that I decided that it was only fair if Rosie got some new designer duds.  So, she's all fixed up and faincy in paisley. 

And because I was feeling the Oklahoma mojo, I decided that I needed these.

Look....my tootsies could be in the museum, too!!

Well....we're off.  We're ducking and dodging and getting ready to take my newly moccasined feet and the fresh-off-the-roof-husband...oh, and the children...to go see this:

Should be a fun time!!

Then it is back to the spy pad to crash!!

Fly By the Seat of My Pants All the Way To Oklahoma -- Day 1 -- over and out!