Me No Likey the VooDoo

I don't know how you desktop people do it.

I'm currently tethered on a short leash of cord to the internet box thingy which means I can't move freely from place of comfort to place of comfort with my laptop.  And it is driving me banonkers.

Dern storm.

A couple of weeks ago this freaky 3.4 second storm blew over our house and zapped our transformer with its crazy zappy voodoo lightning powers.  The same voodoo powers caused a force field to form around our house that kept all manner of electricity personnel from entering our vicinity for a full 16 hours.  And while it was at it, the voodoo powers stealthily sucked the lifebreath out of three of our appliances.  Sneaky sucker.

Funeral services have been held for our microwave, our landline telephone, and our wireless router.

I cried the least for our landline.  Because now telemarketers can't find me.

I wasn't devastated about the  microwave either.  We'd had the same one since the invention of water, and it was disgustingly close to being slapped with a bright red BioHazard sticker.  I actually looked on its departure as a blessing.  My new shiny microwave is at least 10 years away from a good scrubbing, so I'm set.

The passing of our wireless router, however, has caused me to increase my anti-depressant dosage.  For one, I don't like to sit still.  And if I have to sit still, I want to sit still in my bed.  Or in my chair.  Or on the couch.  NOT in a dining room chair.  Which is where I have to sit now if I want to use my computer because SOMEONE decided that the dining room was a fantastic place to put the internet box thingy when we first got it.  The lack of wireless pumping through the veins of our house also means that the computer that the boys use doesn't have internet access anymore.  So whose computer do you think they peck their peanut buttered and jellied up fingers all over when they want to check on their chirpy chickens from Farmville?  Mine. MiNE.  MINE.  But I'm not bitter.  I just need a Xanax.

Oh sure, I could go to the store and get a new router.  And it's on my list of things to do. 

But the zappy voodoo magic also stole all my motivation.  So it's easier to just sit here and whine about it.

Dern voodoo.


Elizabeth said...

A big storm fried our router a few weeks ago and that one day I spent without the internet was a l-o-n-g day. Luckily, Adrion went out and bought a new router pretty quick b/c he has to have it for work. BUT, he got the wrong one the first time and the internet was so slow I almost lost my mind. The problem was fixed in the nick of time!

I wish my microwave had gotten fried instead. And the dishwasher.

Mich said...

Reminds me of the time the squirrels took a bite out of our wires and fried himself. Actually he fried about four or five of our electronics that day too.

Love ya!

Cathy said...

Like I twittered earlier...

Sounds like you need to find your motivation long enough to drive yourself to The Sonic and order (not icecream, cause they might be out. Whatha?!) a Rout 44 Diet Dr. Pepper with Pineapple.

Bottoms up, Baby.

On second thought...maybe you should make it a margarita....

Bridget said...

I'm attached to a desk in our dining area...I used to have a laptop and wireless internet card, but not anymore. I tripped in the doorway one night while I was holding it and broke the lcd screen. Have I mentioned how graceful I am...

Jennifer said...

Oh hooray you are back! I've been checking every day wondering when my buddy was going to put a new post up.

On a related note, I wrote a post about the Bachelorette just for you.

Glad you're back and hugs and kisses.

mer@lifeat7000feet said...

Note to self: Unplug router and other appliances I like during lightning storms.

Sorry, Amber. I'm guessing you don't have neighbors close by that have unsecured wireless. We used to. Don't ask how I know that.

New Every Morning said...

We voluntarily (is that a word??) gave up our landline a couple of months ago and it has been blissfully quiet. Not to mention the absence of a landline phone bill.

Gretchen said...

May they all RIP.

And I know whatcha mean about being tethered. About 80% of my blogging is on the desktop. Ick.