I write today to implore you for help. Maybe not so much help, but some possible creative solutions. I'm reaching my wits' end, and, frankly, the ingenious corners of my mind are closed for business.
You see, I am struggling.
Because I've just come to the determination that parenting is hard, and I really don't like it much right now. It's all unicorns and rainbows when the precious sounds of my offspring giggling resonate through the house, but it pretty much just plain sucks when it comes time to deal with all this complicated mess.
Here's a little background: I'm the mom of 3 fine and delightful male specimens. All precious in their own right, but so incredibly different. My oldest is creative and uberly-smart and sensitive and is drawn to all things nerdy and geek-related. My youngest has the face of a Gerber baby and could melt Mt. Everest with one bat of his eye and one spoken word. And my middlest is our athlete and holds semi-rockstar status for reasons that I still haven't quite grasped.
Sounds like a fantastic melting pot of personality and talents, no?
Oh, for sure. It has been.
Because now we're entering the phases of childhood where the blinders come off, and jealousy and sensitivity rear their nasty heads. And to be honest with you, I have no earthly idea what I'm doing trying to manage it.
The oldest of our male species is especially having a hard time right now. He's 10 and super-intuitive, and it isn't rocket science for him to figure out that his little brothers are rockin' the casbah right now. Sports are a big deal in our home, and all the boys are actively involved in several organized teams, but the oldest one just can't seem to find his own way away from his rockstar brother and his way-too-cute-for-his-own-good brother. People can be so cruel without meaning to be, by continuously doting on one brother all while hanging the other brother out to dry. And it's hard as a parent to not be able to assure one of your children that is being hurt by it that it will get better.
Here's the deal, Abby. I know what the right thing to do is. It's to let him find his own way. Find his own niche. Eliminate as much competition as possible between the brothers, even though we're not purposefully breeding it at home. I know that the right thing to do is to dote on his accomplishments and achievements and to treat each of our children as individuals, never comparing them or asking them to compete against eachother for any reason.
But, realistically, we live in a small town. The opportunities aren't endless. We live in a town where everyone knows eachother, and reputations are what seem to carry a person, however wrong that might seem to be. Finding one's way is hard to do anyway here, let alone trying to claw one's way out of another's shadow.
So, my question is this: Any advice or creative ideas in helping a youngster find his own way away, but respectfully so, from his little brother?
I'm not looking for a sermon, because I preach to myself enough daily, but something tangible that really could help jumpstart some self-esteem in an already hormonal prepubescent.
About To Flush My Parenting Card Down the Toilet
Labels: Being Boy Crazy