Today is the day that the tears are here.
I've held it in all week....and now the dam has burst. I've been dreading this day.
I've been waiting to put a post up about what our lives have revolved around for the past 5 days, not because it was some huge secret, but because I was still just trying to process what all has happened.
I'm not going to go into laborious detail here, basically because I don't know what to say. It's a lot of detail and big words, and right now I'm just tired.
Here's the nutshell:
Sawyer sustained a neck injury while playing soccer last Saturday morning. Since then we have been through x-rays, a CT Scan, and an MRI.
Again, I'm trying to not go into a huge amount of detail here, but basically the results are good news. There is nothing life threatening, which we praise Jesus for, but the tests have showed that Sawyer has a condition that is most likely the source.
Sawyer is, however, in a significant amount of pain, and right now there is nothing to do be done about the pain except medication.
We are awaiting an appointment with a neurologist so that he can evaluate Sawyer's condition and advise us as to what the next step is.
The waiting game is the hardest.
My baby wants to do nothing but lay in bed. He struggles with any kind of movement that requires strain of his neck, and our nights are filled with endless sobs. His normal 7 year old self should be out practicing baseball with his team today or helping his brothers work on the fort in the woods, but instead he is home struggling to even get out of the bed to use the restroom.
I'm struggling with perspective. I'm so grateful for the knowledge that Sawyer is safe; that his life isn't in jeopardy; and that, most likely, our son will return to his old self. But I know that there are parents that are saying goodbye to their babies today; that are watching their children slip away. And so I struggle. I know that it could be worse. Much worse. But when I see Sawyer scream in pain, it feels like the end of the world to me.
My emotions are high. I'm physically and emotionally drained. And the tears won't stop today.
If we come to your mind, please say a prayer for Sawyer. And for urgency on the doctors' part. And for peace for the rest of us.
We're trying to stay strong for Sawyer.
But right now, Sawyer is the one staying strong for all of us.
He's amazing, that kid.
